Bent Blog

Too Big for Twitter

2011-03-23T20:17:00.010-04:00

Well, time to pull the drop cloths off the blog and get writing. At least one post.

It started with a tweet, or actually a retweet, as seen here:

I made the flying leap to the conclusion that this was regarding the "ex-gay" app that had just been pulled from Apple's iTunes App Store, and replied:

Nick Harkaway replied:

Now I really like Nick Harkaway. Not only because he is the author of what is perhaps my favorite book of the 21st century (so far), but because I've also come to respect the personality he reveals via the standard social media sites of the 2010's. Anyway, I felt that Twitter's 140 characters would not be nearly enough to "unpack" my thoughts, so I said:

So that's where we are. My point (as best I could make it in 140 characters, less the two @tributions) was that even within the marketplace of ideas, there are some ideas that are so repugnant as to require immediate rejection. Thus my suggestion that an "ex-Jew app" in 1942, in the guise of the Nazi party, was rejected. An "ex-Black app," (e.g. Jim Crow laws, Separate but Equal clauses) was rejected in the 1960s.

In the Wikipedia article about the market place of ideas Thomas Jefferson is quoted as having said (about the University of Virginia), "This institution will be based upon the illimitable freedom of the human mind. For here we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor to tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it" (emphasis mine). Oliver Wendell Holmes said "the best test of truth is the power of the thought to get itself accepted in the competition of the market." What has happened in the case of the Exodus International app is that reason did, indeed, combat it; it was not accepted in the competition of the market.

I hope that I don't have to address the reasons why the app in question is offensive. That's been covered by many other people, and my point here was just to respond to the question regarding the original (re)tweet about the marketplace of ideas.

I should leave it there, but I have to ask: is the iTunes store the "marketplace of ideas"? There has been no shortage of Apple missteps while allowing or disallowing all sorts of apps, and againg, I don't think I have to search out examples, they're easily found. Given the restrictions that Apple already places on apps that it will accept into the store, I would argue that they hardly represent the free market in any way. However, because they are, for better or worse, the proverbial 800 pound gorilla, what they do impacts the free market in many ways. And that, as they say, is a whole nother thing.

And I should leave it there, but just one more thing ... as my friend Joe often says, "I can hold my breath, but that doesn't make me an ex-breather."

That's no moon!

2010-02-16T20:02:00.001-05:00

Oh wait; yes it is.

More here.

Is Amazon Insane? Or was it the fish?

2010-02-14T13:02:00.003-05:00

Over at Netflix, they've been running a couple contests to find better recommendation algorithms. At Amazon, I think they're secretly running a contest to find an algorithm that's makes insane recommendations.

For example:

Would I like a second copy of Days of Future Passed? No thanks. I mean, I really enjoy listening to it at times, and it was quite a ground-breaking concept at the time, but I'm good with just the one copy. I can always rip it to MP3 or make a personal backup copy on my own.

How about some DVD recommendations, then? I like Futurama so Good News, Everyone!:

Errrr, no. Maybe Professor Farnsworth is a closet Angela Lansbury fan?

OK, that's just silly. I do like my animation in lots of different ways, including talking dogs and homicidal gay babies, so what else might Amazon have in store for me?

Oh dear god! For the love of Cthulhu, WTF is that about?

I guess I should say "Thank you Amazon, for bringing a little surreality to my life." And good luck to the people entering your contest.

About PoGo Print Manipulation

2010-02-11T17:46:00.004-05:00

OK, so like apparently thousands of people, I watched the video "Dippold and Hippoyard present some way to manipulate Zink paper and PoGo Polaroid." (click on the post title to see it).

I love my Pogo printer, it's not analog instant photography, but it's pretty cool. And I love the little prints it produces, as is. But it's always fun to do more artistic stuff once in awhile. Unfortunately, the four and a half minute video contains six techniques, and I personally found some of it hard to follow. Nonetheless, my searches for written information on Pogo manipulations were not successful (but damn, that video sure is!)

So I've tried to capture as much of the presented information as I can. It's listed below. Parts that I'm unclear on are marked with question marks. I'd more than welcome any corrections, additions, whatever.

OK here we go:

Choose a subject
Take a picture
Take Zink (tm) photo paper
Print with Polaroid Pogo (tm)
Destroy and Create

01. Transfer Water + Paper

Soak print 30-40 minutes
Blow with hair dryer (?)
Peel off top layer (orange-ish) with tweezers
Place layer on watercolor paper
Press with damp sponge (?)

02. Transfer Water + Paper

Soak print 80-90 minutes
Place entire print face down on watercolor paper
Press with damp sponge
Blow with hair dryer on both sides of watercolor paper
Peel off backing paper and layers so that top layer is left on watercolor paper
(not shown!) Peel off blue layer??
Wet watercolor paper and orange layer with damp sponge
Place (very fragile) blue layer on top of orange layer
Use tweezers to straighten out
(Strange flash of some other picture at 1:47, WTF?)

03. Print & Play Water + Sponge + Fire + Wire Brush

Yeah, I got no idea exactly what is going on here.
(Another flash of some other picture at 2:21, WTFF?)

04. Print & Play Sandpaper + Acetone Fire + Pyrograph

(from Wikipedia: Pyrography is the art of decorating wood or other materials with burn marks resulting from the controlled application of a heated object such as a poker. It is also known as pokerwork or wood burning.)
Rub sandpaper block on print
Use q-tip to apply acetone (?) at certain spots
Splash with acetone(?)
Make it burn
Put out fire with damp rag (?)
Sand some more
Draw on print with fine-tipped wood-burning tool (aka pyrograph, I guess)
(enough with the flashes! 2:54)

05. Play & Print Sandpaper + Acetone

Use sandpaper and acetone as above, on unprinted Zink paper, both sides (?)
Print with Pogo

06. Cash Slip

Take thermally printed cash register receipt, same width as Zink paper.
(not shown, so I assume) trim length to match Zink paper
Place on TOP of a sheet of Zink paper
Print with Pogo
Peel Apart

eBay Charity Fail

2010-01-28T18:54:00.004-05:00

(SEE FOLLOW UP BELOW)
I'm a huge fan of Adam "Ape Lad" Koford's Laugh Out Loud Cats series, as presented on his Hobotopia blog and on Flickr. I've bought several comic panels for myself, joined the "Pip Fan Club" and purchased the available books.

Yesterday, I saw that Adam is auctioning off a Laugh Out Loud Cats panel (#1300) and donating all the proceeds to Haiti earthquake relief. Very Cool.

I checked on the eBay auction and saw that it's already too rich for my blood. The funneling of the proceeds to charity is handled automatically by "eBay Giving Works", which is administered by a third-party called MissionFish. And here is where I see a huge problem. Let me be very clear at the outset - this is NOT a knock at Adam in any way. The eBay page quite prominently says "100% of the final sale price will support Clinton Bush Haiti Fund" But the devil is in the metaphorical asterisk, and we also see "(Small deduction may apply. Learn more)". Seems that MissionFish thinks 20% (or more, in some cases) is "small". OK, that exorbitant percentage does drop off as the selling price goes up, but it's got no business starting where it does. Somebody is getting fat and happy off of people's charitable instincts, and I think this stinks like like a (Mission)fish that's been left on the dock for a few days.

Anyway, I've contacted Adam and I will be making up the difference between the comic panel's selling price and the actual donation made after eBay/MissionFish skims its outrageous fee. If you want to bid, go here. You can also link through from there to the "eBay Giving Works" information.

Of course this brings up an important point - anytime when making a donation, make sure you're aware of how much of the donation actually gets to the intended recipient. This includes not only knowing what percentage of your donation is taken for "administrative costs" but also being that the rest goes to where you intend. The Red Cross got spanked hard on this after 9/11 and cleaned up their act. Seems like eBay/MissionFish should also.

(FOLLOW UP)
2/11/10 - OK, so I misread the fine print. But in my defense, they sure made it confusing as heck. Because Adam's auction was a private sale, no cut seems to have been taken by eBay/MissionFish. Nevertheless, I tried to compute what I had thought would have been taken, based on their hard to follow formula, and made the donation to the Clinton Bush Haiti Fund anyway. It's a win all around, and I'd encourage eBay/MissionFish to make their system about a jillion times clearer, for everybody's sake.

Attention Recruiters!

2010-01-20T19:32:00.002-05:00

Many recruiters seem to find my resume via Google. So I'm assuming that some may also come across this blog as well. So I have a simple request . . .

Look, when I get emails from y'all about a position that requires relocation (not gonna happen) or that doesn't match my experience at all (I'm going to let that be for now), then I always take the time to reply, saying "thank you for contacting me, but I can not consider relocation at this time" or "... but that position is not a good fit for my skills." Or something.

The thing is, I practice what we used to call "common courtesy"

So I'd appreciate it if, when we've talked about a position, and I've sent you my resume "in Word format" and maybe you've even gone ahead and submitted it, could you at least have the common courtesy to not just leave me hanging? Call me or email me and say "the client didn't like you". I'm a big boy, I can take it. But seriously, just tell me what's going on.

Leaving me hanging without any contact doesn't really make you look good.

Demand Decency

2010-01-13T19:03:00.003-05:00

I don't have to rehash or link to something about Pat Robertson's latest vileness, I'm sure everybody has seen or heard about it by now.

What I will do is suggest that everybody write to whatever local broadcast station carries his festival of hate and demand that it be taken off the air immediately.

In Richmond, VA, that's WRIC, channel 8. Write to them from this page.

Fight back against the hatred. Demand that your local station do the only decent thing.

2012

2009-11-19T21:50:00.001-05:00

Oh, John Cusack, what have you done?

A Person is Known by the Company He Keeps

2009-11-09T14:31:00.002-05:00

So, Eric Cantor finally makes a statement against ONE instance of wingnut Nazi comparison tactics.

Maybe you should have noticed all of that imagery at all these "Tea Parties" MONTHS ago? Word around the internets is that you stood there last Thursday praising the wingnut protesters, even as they displayed an image comparing health care reform to Dachau. But no, you're too busy trying to suck up to the powers that be in your party. Trying to see what's next for Eric Cantor instead of showing some basic human dignity.

Sorry, pal, but that's what you get when you whore yourself out to Hannity & Colmes and their ilk. You're one of them, and it's too late to take it back. If you play in the same sandbox with the likes of Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and Michael ~~Weiner~~ "Savage", then you get the same sand all over you.

Yes, a person is known by the company he keeps. And I think we know you very well by now.

You may be my "Representative", but you do NOT represent me. Oh, and sending me that fund-raising appeal accusing me of being a long-time supporter of conservative causes? Better fire the moron who vets your mailing lists.

Why I Won't be Renewing my XM Subscription.

2009-11-05T16:05:00.003-05:00

Evidently it's easy to make an "80's alternative" satellite radio station. Get a 10 disc CD changer, load it up with greatest hits CDs from REM, U2, Talking Heads, The Cure and The Clash. Put in at least three from Depeche Mode. Press shuffle.

Let a vacuous waste of oxygen with a voice made for books say stupid things from 10AM till 3PM, and add a washed up British dude for the drive time shift.

Voila, XM 44.

Oh, and for good measure, completely ignore any emails from your customers.

Fred, we hardly knew ye.

Back with a vengeance

2009-11-05T16:03:00.000-05:00

Barack Obama's Facebook presence posted an update requesting support of the health care plan currently in the House.

My response: 'Yeah, I'll be a "fierce advocate" for your plan. Based on your example, I think that means sitting on my hands and not actually doing a damn thing.'

Verizon FiOS - billing from hell

2009-05-12T14:07:00.002-04:00

Verizon, you have brought me to the brink.

All I wanted, back in December 2008, was the Triple HD EXTREEEEEEEEEME FiOS bundle. I'd had FiOS TV for nearly a year and was tired of paying Cavalier Telephone $25 in taxes and fees on $50 worth of services. I'd gotten a direct mail piece from Verizon saying that the bundle I wanted could be had for $109.99/month, with an additional discount if I signed up via their website. Simple enough, right?

Yeah, no.

First, since I was already a FiOS customer, I couldn't place the order without "signing in". They want to base each and every interaction with them on your Verizon home telephone number, but being a customer of a CLEC, that wasn't possible. I fumbled around and found something that was supposed to let me sign in using the account number from my bill. That didn't work either. I was able to send an email using the site, and did get a response - "Dear Larry Mac - Thank you for contacting the Verizon eCetner. I have received your email dated 12/15/08 regarding the trouble your experienced in trying to place an order for our Triple Play Bundle package. ... If you would like someone to contact you for assistance with your order, please reply to this email with a telephone numnber and the best time to reach you. ..."

That seemed helpful enough. Don't be fooled.

The incoming mail was dated 12/17. I replied on 12/18 with the contact information. I replied a second time on 12/23. I'm still waiting for that call to come in.

I tried using the website again, with my account number. After a lot more time and frustration, a webchat representative told me that I should only be using the "middle 10 digits" of my account number. Oh, hey, that's clear. NOT. I was still unable to place the order, probably because of my non-Verizon phone number, so finally, on December 30, I called. After quite a long time on the phone, including the third-party verification that is necessary to switch phone carriers, I thought the order was placed, and I was even supposed to still get the web discount.

Ha ha, tricked you again! On January 6, I received an email telling me the installation date (January 20), and to check their "What's Next" website. The order summary at that website mentioned "new" FiOS TV service and Internet service, but nothing about phone.

More phone calls. The guy on the phone said the first order hadn't been placed properly and there was no indication of my requesting phone service. This despite the aforementioned third-party verification and the previously undisclosed hard inquiry that hit my credit report. I was told that really the only way to resolve all this was to cancel the pending order and start from scratch. Oh, and since I had Cavalier DSL, they couldn't switch my phone over till that was removed. I really couldn't afford to be without DSL while waiting for Verizon, so the order then became just "add FiOS internet." I'd have two internet services for awhile, but once I knew the FiOS part was working, I could safely call Cavalier and cancel DSL. All of this, of course, meant losing my place in the installation queue, but the guy on the phone assured me once the original order showed as cancelled in the system he'd be able to bump my new installation up and he'd call me back as soon as that was done. Still waiting for that call too.

When the installer showed up to add FiOS internet to my house, the order information was, again, completely wrong - his records showed he would be doing a completely new installation. This meant that the “8 to 12” window stretched out until past 2 PM, making me miss a whole day of work instead of the half day which I had scheduled. I then called in on Tuesday 1/27 to attempt, yet again, to get telephone service to complete my bundle. After maneuvering past the incredibly poorly written phone menus, I was on hold for a good twenty minutes before getting to speak to somebody – who couldn’t help me because he was in a “copper only” office. I was placed on hold again, finally got to speak to somebody who seemed to be helping me, but then she put me on hold “to check something” and I ended up having my call answered in a FiOS HOA liaison office, and of course they had no information on my pending order. That person transferred me again, and when I heard “what telephone number are you calling about?” I just hung up in frustration. (Verizon, please note: You are not the only telephone company in the area. You need to STOP asking that as the opening question.) That was over an hour of my time wasted on their inability to accept a simple order. One might have thought that the representative who lost my call would have called me back at the contact number I’d given her when we began speaking, but of course that didn’t happen.

On 1/28, I cleared an hour from my schedule to make another call. It took exactly forty-five minutes to get through the whole process and I thought it was all good. I specifically asked the representative yesterday if there would be another credit check and was assured that there would not. And then I got an email the next day from Experian stating “The following inquiries are "hard" or voluntary inquiries and were generated because you authorized the companies listed to request a copy of your credit report.” The problem is that I did not, at any time during my numerous calls, EVER authorize a credit check.

The phone installation finally happened on February 12, or two months from my initial attempt to order the bundle. You'd think that would have been the end of the nightmare, but no, of course not.

Since then, I have had to call EVERY month upon receiving my bill. First, there were the unauthorized "activation fee" payments. Also, somebody had taken it upon themselves to give me a "free" month of HBO and Cinemax. Now I'd had this free shit from Verizon before. They start it in the middle of a billing cycle and then try to charge you for a partial month later on. Not falling for that crap again. In addition, even though I thought I finally had my long-awaited Triple bundle, I was receiving separate bills - one for TV and internet, one for phone.

In April, I called to get the second installment of the activation fee removed, and I still had a partial month of HBO/Cinemax to get removed. They'd managed to combine my bills, but in so doing, had to monkey around with the billing cycle, so there was partial month this and partial month that everywhere.

Yesterday, I sat down with my May bill and of course I had to call again. First, the final of the three activation fee installments had to go. Also, since this was the first bill that had everything combined on the same billing cycle, I whipped out my calculator and found they were charging me $119.99 for the bundle. So how long has *this* been going on? Three months, I'll bet. Another phone call. This time I'm informed that I was not, in fact, set up on the Triple bundle at all. WTF? Seriously? So the lady on the phone puts me on hold a bunch of times, gives me a number that supposedly represents the credits I am due, and promises me that my next bill will be correct. She offers me some free movie channels for my trouble. See above. I guess getting a credit for the previous incorrect bills is out of the question.

Today I decided I'm not going to let that sleeping dog lie. I log on to my verizon.net account and try to find my bill. There's apparently no way to see the bundled bill at all. But I could be wrong . . . even though today is May 12, the most recent bill information I can locate is from March 1. Seriously, Verizon?

And the constant nags to sign up for direct and/or paperless billing? Who on earth would trust you with access to his checking account?

Let's cut through all this and lay it on the line, Verizon. Your customer facing systems are broken. Completely and irretrievably broken, and frankly, I don't think they can be fixed. In the meantime, I've sent a request for a full review of my account going back to December, with a complete and clear explanation of all charges and credits.

I'm more than willing to contact the state regulators if necessary.

All Rights Reserved

2008-11-21T18:22:00.002-05:00

It was a rough day, what with an incompetent optometrist's office and various work woes, so when I stopped at Walgreen's with hope of actually using my coupon for cranberry sauce, the last thing I wanted to find was a complete lack of said jellied goodness. At not one, but two stores. If you're going to put something like that on sale the week before Thanksgiving, shouldn't you corner the Ocean Spray market?

So I was riled up when I got home and decided to find the Walgreens web page and send them a note. As I was navigating the site, I found this neat little tidbit in the fine print

any message or other communication sent to Walgreen Co. becomes the exclusive intellectual property of Walgreen Co.

Ha. Right. Sure it does, guys. Exclusive? Intellectual Property???

Here you go, interwebs, the complete text of my message sent to Walgreens. Do with it what you will, but gee, don't tell them, they think they own it. Let 'em sue, I could use the money.

Why do you bother to have sales that run from Sunday to Saturday if your stores can not manage to order enough inventory to cover those sales? Today is just the latest episode, but it's an ongoing issue - you have a coupon item (and hey, coupons? in the 21st century? that's cute) and I don't get to the store until
Thursday or Friday and all I get is "nope, we're sold out." Not even an "I'm sorry." More likely I get a look like I must be crazy for having expected something you advertised as being available ALL WEEK isn't available ALL WEEK.

Today was the last straw, though. For lack of a single can of cranberry sauce in THREE different stores, you lost out on the sale of nearly $100 worth of Christmas decorations I had in my cart. And all of my future business.

And as far as the fine print I noticed while locating this page - " any message or other communication sent to Walgreen Co. becomes the exclusive intellectual property of Walgreen Co. " HA. Not likely. My words most certainly do not become your exclusive intellectual property, and in fact I'll publish this whole thing online just to prove that point.

We Have Met The Enemy, and They Are Kinda Dumb, Akshully

2008-07-24T21:43:00.004-04:00

From today's Washington Post, Dana Milbank's Washington Sketch column Sorry We Asked, Sorry You Told.

If this is the opposition, I have great hopes that DADT is going to go away sooner than later. I loved the "esprit decor" thing (one of the commenters on the article said that should be the title of a new show on Bravo), and I personally commented that I wanted to know more about the allegedly threatening "band of lesbians"; 'cause I just never found Indigo Girls to be all that scary.

As always, support for the Servicemember's Legal Defense Network is a good thing. And please email or call your congressperson ... you can find the contact information at house.gov

Thanks for reading.

Sprint PCS

2008-03-07T13:58:00.002-05:00

I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I'd noticed a problem with my latest Sprint bill and was going to have to call them to find out what was going on. At the beginning of 2007 when I got a new phone, I was going to switch carriers, but they'd made me an offer I couldn't refuse. Turns out I should have refused, because trying to get the actual terms that were offered to me on the first phone call took about six more weeks and twice as many phone calls.

So when I saw that the amount of my regular monthly bill had changed, I knew it wasn't going to be easy to get it straightened out. But I had to try. After successfully navigating their rather poorly designed voice response system and waiting on hold for ten minutes (with marketing messages every thirty seconds!), I got to speak to somebody. He wanted my phone number. Now the fact that I'd already punched that in during the voice response part of the call should have already made it available to him, but basic CTI is well beyond Sprint's capabilities. After that, he wanted my PIN. Previously, my secret key to enter the PCS netherworld had been a set of numbers and a word, so that's what I gave him. No dice. He wanted a "six to ten digit number." I told him I had no idea. No problem, I could give him the answer to my secret question. "What was the name of your firstmumble mumble?" What? Oh, my "first elementary school." Damn. That is just so not the type of question I'd have chosen. I thought for a moment, then came up with the answer. No dice.

Now what? I'm locked out of my account, and I haven't even done anything! Ah, but I can, he said, go to the website to check and/or reset my secret stuff. Now I'd been logged in to the website only a minute before I called them, so I bring up a new browser window and try to log in. It just takes me right back to a log in screen, with no indication of why. I try again. Nope. Phone-guy tells me to check caps lock. Thanks. I get their system to send my user name to my email. No surprise there, it's the one I've been using. Finally Chumley checks something and determines that the website "went into offline status a few minutes ago" and won't be available for an hour or so. Oh, you mean it's DOWN? Why not say so? I should mention that this was a 2 PM or so. Who has a website that goes into offline status at 2PM? Obviously, this phone call isn't going to get me anywhere.

A couple hours later, I tried the website again, since this whole security thing is confusing me. I find the page where all that stuff is set up and take a look. My "PIN" is more or less what I'd thought, except all the letters have been changed to numbers. I think I probably did this, so I'll take the rap for that, although a case could be made that the phone guy could have done the letter to keypad conversion or at least suggested it to me. The security question, however, is a much stranger situation. The page presents a drop down box with seven possible questions, including "What was your first elementary school?", "Street you grew up on?", "First employer?", and so on. The box is indeed showing the school question, but when I click on the field where the answer goes, it briefly displays for me the answer I'd put it. It was most decidedly not my school. So I dropped down the question box again, selected the correct question to go with the answer (insert Jeopardy theme music here) and then clicked the submit box at the bottom of the page. The page reloaded and once again, the security question was set to ask me about my first elementary school. I haven't thought about my first elementary school so much in over 35 years.

(interjection: I'm writing this at approximately 2PM the day after. I tried to log in to the website to verify a few things and have discovered that once again, it seems to be down, in the middle of the day. At least they're consistent on that.)

Being a programmer type by nature, I thought it would be a good idea to report this bug on their website. It's not all that easy to get to a page where you can actually send an email, and of course the pre-selected subject lines that are offered do not apply, so I'm stuck choosing "general." I write up the problem and hit send. Several hours later, I get a response. It tells me that since privacy and security are SO important to Sprint, that they can't respond to my account questions unless I reply with a whole laundry list of private information. Over unsecured email. Yeah, that's gonna happen. I fire back a response including the phrase "dealing with you people gets on my last nerve." Then I explain the problem again, typing slowly in hopes that doing so will aid their comprehension.

In the meantime, since I now know the answer to the secret question, even though they don't match, I choose to call in to try to get the billing question resolved. For some reason, I get transferred to an agent almost immediately after entering my phone number, which he immediately asks me for, of course. I also manage to get the PIN right and we're off. Except that my account "is handled by a different system" and he had to get permission to transfer my call. Say WHAT? I get put on hold while permission is granted, and then I am asked if it's OK to transfer my call . . . this post is already way too long, so I'll just mention that I had to speak to two other people, but finally got my billing questions resolved. I also decided to mention the website issue to the last guy. He told me I could go to the nearest Sprint store with two forms of ID and blah blah blah. Yeah right. It's your system problem, dude, I am not going to subject myself to the living hell that is a Sprint store.

Finally, I'll report on the response I got to the second email. First, there is a list of browsers that might have trouble with the site, including Mozilla Firefox, Opera, IE 7.0 or above, and Safari. I'm used to Firefox being blamed, but IE 7? Really? Since I was accessing their website from work, I actually was on IE 6 anyway, so then the first suggestion is to clear my cookies. Yeah, OK, 1996 called, they want their useless tech support back. I'm not going to delete ALL my cookies, many of which hold login information for sites like Slashdot, just so that Sprint's badly designed web pages will work.

Sprint, you FAIL at customer service.

Audi USA

2008-02-13T19:51:00.002-05:00

I've been looking into buying or leasing a shiny new Audi TT Roadster. I can afford to even think about this because I am a friend or family of somebody who works for Audi. After poking around at their website the other day, I told my connection that the site really was frustrating. For example, while using the "build your car" function, I had a choice of the 2.0 turbo engine, or the 2.0 turbo "with premium package." But there is no indication anywhere about what said package contains. I could tell that it costs $3050, but that's about it.

I also tried to use the dealer locater function. I know where my local dealer is, but I couldn't recall the name. I put in my ZIP code and clicked on the search button, only to be told that no results were found. I thought that was odd, and then decided that maybe it was because the center of my ZIP code was more than ten miles (the default search radius) from the dealer. So I increased the distance and tried again. No dice. Eventually, I got up to a search radius of 400 miles. Still no results.

So after dealing with all that, I told my connection of my woes. He encouraged me to find the "Contact Us" link and pass along my comments, so I did. In the email response I got the next day, there was an apology for the problem with the dealer locater "which was damaged recently and is currently being re-established. For dealer locations, as well as any questions about current models, we suggest you contact" some 800 number.

I sat on that for a day, but this morning I had to respond. "You knew the dealer locater wasn't working, but instead of putting up a page that says 'please call the Audi Insider line', you just let it return meaningless results?"

I honestly can't understand that. I ended my response with

Every customer facing aspect of your business, whether it's your web site, your sales or service people at the dealer, or your spiffy new R8 ad, shapes the customer's perception. And perception is reality.

Which I think is pretty much the theme of this blog (excepting maybe the specific part about the R8 commercial).

I'm sure Sony hasn't figured that out, but that's another blog for another day.

Make Magazine

2008-02-08T18:44:00.000-05:00

I discovered Make Magazine right about the time the first issue was published. Probably I saw it mentioned somewhere on the net. I didn't get around to subscribing until last year, right about this time, and because of a special offer, chose the "Premier" version of the subscription. Amongst other things, this gives me the, ahem, pleasure of an automatically renewing subscription. According to the FAQ on their website, I will always receive 30 day notification - "via email we contact you 30 days prior to expiration of your current subscription to let you know that your subscription is going to be shortly renewed."

Yep, that didn't happen. I've checked my spam folder, and nothing there either. And I never have any trouble getting the newsletter or other email from them.

Which brings me to today. I get home and have a mysterious letter, which the envelope tells me is from "ESP Computer Services". Surprisingly enough, I don't have the foggiest idea who the hell "ESP Computer Services" is.

The letter inside starts out "Thank you for your recent order" and references a credit card account that had to be cancelled because of fraudulent use last summer. Alarms start to go off.

I look a little closer and notice that at the top of the piece of paper it says

Notification
Make

This is not a letterhead, mind you, but just some text in what looks to be about 16 point Arial Bold.

NOWHERE on this piece of paper does it mention the word "Magazine", which maybe would have been a clue to WTF this was all about.

Who the HELL is running this service, some 14 year old with a copy of Access and a laser printer?

So now I'm wondering why on earth I'd want to renew this subscription, and how to avoid having to deal with "ESP Computer Services" ever again.

Cavalier Telephone follow-up

2008-01-31T13:28:00.000-05:00

Last night my home phone rang. It was Cavalier Telephone, calling to ask if my phonse service was working.

Ummmmmmmm.......????

Cavalier Telephone

2008-01-29T13:08:00.001-05:00

I actually like my phone company. It's a CLEC that gives me full-featured home telephone service and DSL for less than $50 / month (before taxes and fees, of course).

BUT, when I got home last night I discovered I had no dial tone and no DSL. Having been through this before, I knew to take one of my trusty 500 sets outside and plug it directly into the gray box on the side of the house. Nothing.

So I dug up an old phone bill and found the number to call for repairs. A speech-enabled voice response system asked for my phone number. For some reason, I don't like to speak to speech-reco systems (yeah, I know that makes quite odd, given my day job), so I punched in my number. Then the most lame and/or laughable thing happened - they played back a sound-effect of somebody typing on a computer keyboard (or maybe it was somebody shaking up a bag of Scrabble tiles). I don't even remember what the next question was, but it too was followed by the sound-effect. Are they really fooling people with that? Bizarre.

Then it was time to tell Mr. Typie what the problem was. I clearly spoke "no dial tone." No problem in understanding that, so kudos to them for getting that bit of programming correct. Then I was whisked off to the hold queue, where things got really ugly.

First, I was given a list of four things to do to check my DSL connection. That's nice, but was completely unrelated to my particular problem and therefore pissed me off a little bit. Somewhat reminiscent of Verizon's apparent "dump 'em all in one queue" strategy). After that was over, I immediately got a recording telling me that there was "currently" an outage in the Pennsylvania market, and that the estimated time of resolution was 4 PM. OK, two major things wrong there. Number 1, I've already typed in my phone number, so they should know I'm not in Pennsylvania. Number 2, it was around 5 PM when I called. If indeed I was in Pennsylvania and experiencing this outage, I'd be pretty upset to hear the 4 o'clock message at 5. At the very end of the recording, there was a strange sound that I can only describe as a grunt. Weird.

Their on-hold music must be on a tape somewhere, a tape that has seen much much better days. Can you say wow and flutter? Music on hold is usually an annoyance, but this took it to a whole new level. Every once in awhile, a marketing message would come on, telling me about the wonderful guides that were available on the website. I might have been interested, if I was able to get to the website.

The Pennsylvania message and the marketing message repeated over the course of my twenty-plus minutes on hold. Aside from getting really ticked off about the PA message, I noticed that the two messages were somehow interfering with each other. If the PA message was playing, then sometimes after it was done (and after it grunted at me), the marketing message would kick in somewhere in the middle. I can't even imagine how you'd program a system to play messages like that. I'll have to ask some of my colleagues with better Avaya knowledge. (I assume there's an Avaya system in there somewhere, based on their job listings, which I have perused more than once).

Once I finally got connected to an agent, things went well. He was impressed when I said I'd already "plugged into the demarc", and quickly got a service call scheduled. As of this writing, the problem still exists (I just called my own number and got the Cavalier voice-mail system), but hopefully that won't be the case when I get home this evening.

I actually know at least one person who works at Cavalier, I wonder if she could put me in touch with somebody so I can offer my services on fixing their annoying system?

Verizon: The Hits Just Keep On Comin'

2008-01-21T23:55:00.000-05:00

Oh my little Baby Bell, how do I love thee. Let me post the ways.

So, when last we left off, my install on (My Street) "DOCTOR," was scheduled for this past Saturday, 19 January 2008, between 8AM and 5PM. I dutifully got up at the crack of 7-ish and made sure I was ready for the guy to show up. I tidied up the bedroom a bit (because there's a TV there, get your minds out of the gutter) and made some coffee and then I waited. And waited. And, of course, waited. Finally, at about 12:45 or so, I got a call asking if it would be OK for them to come out on Sunday at "9 or 9:30". This was a tough call, I'd had plans for Saturday night for some time, but I really did want to get the installation taken care of, so I said yes. Supposedly, I'll be getting an American Express gift card in an undisclosed amount for my troubles.

Right, so fast-forward to Sunday morning. I had set my alarm for 8:15 or so, and was quite in the middle of Snooze-ville, when the phone rang at 8:20. It was the VZ installer guy, who said he'd be there in 15 or 20 minutes. A tad early, but I managed to get moving.

The outside bit of the installation took awhile, and then we got to the indoor stuff. The bedroom TV got a standard-def set top box, and that was pretty routine. In the living room, the shiny new HD TiVo got two CableCards. I had to go through the guided setup again, but after that it looked like everything was good.

Of course, it wasn't. I was getting all the channels on CableCard 2, but CC1 was quite unresponsive. I waited until today to attempt to call for service. What a nightmare.

Of course they start out with asking for my VZ phone number. Still don't have one, guys. I proceed through a few more menus asking for information, and after EVERY F'ING question, an additional confirmation prompt. Jebus, VZ, your speech reco engine returns a confidence score, just freakin' use it, mmmkay? I finally get to the part where the system wants me to state "in my own words" what the problem is. "Cable Card not working", I say. Great, I'm going to be transferred. And then I hear two DTMF tones and a recording saying "your call could not be completed, please try again later." Arrggghhhh.

I called back right away, and tried to short-circuit my way through the menus a bit, but still requested Tech Support. Again two tones and the same recording. A third attempt was rather identical.

I poked around the website for a bit, and found another phone number, but it turned out to be for FiOS Internet service, so was useless. Great website there, VZ, steering me to completely unrelated pages and all.

On my fourth attempt at calling, I pressed zero. A lot. Finally, the system told me the wait time to speak to somebody was 7 minutes, OR, I could leave a number and they would call me. That seemed ideal, so I said yes, left my number and recorded my name and waited. After nearly exactly 7 minutes, my phone rang. I said "hello" and a recording told me this was a Verizon callback, and if they had reached "Larry" to say yes. I did indeed say yes, and was promptly connected . . . . to a busy signal. And because that wasn't bad enough, they held my phone line open for another couple minutes. I'd hang up the phone, wait a bit and then try to dial again, only to hear the busy signal still going.

Finally, they released the line, and I was able to make phone call number 5. This time, the wait was going to be 9 minutes. I elected to stay on the line. FORTY minutes later, somebody finally picked up. I told her my problem, and it was all resolved within about 5 minutes.

My total time spent on the issue, nearly two hours. For the record, my rate is around $55 per hour, so maybe they owe me about two months of service for free, right?

Honestly, Verizon, is that the best you can do? Because frankly, what I went through today SUCKS, and I'll be contacting the State Corporation Commission to report your bad behavior. The reception looks good, but I think I'm more in love with my new TiVo then the program delivery service.

Quick Hit

2008-01-17T12:45:00.000-05:00

For as long as I can remember, orange has been the color to indicate decaf. When you stumble into 7-11 for that morning cup o' Joe, you make sure to grab one of the pots with a brown or black handle, and steer well clear of the orange. I don't know who invented this color scheme, but it seems to be universal, or nearly so.

But no . . . Recently a new food service company took over the cafeteria where I work. They serve "Seattle's Best" coffee, from those big insulated pump-type dispensers. The dispensers themselves are red. The label is beige, and at the top (where it is mostly hidden by the spout), there is light grey lettering that practically disappears indicating regular or decaf. The decaf label has a bit of blue somewhere. Yes, blue. Any third grader can probably tell you that blue is exactly opposite orange on the color wheel.

I'd like to suggest that the herbal tea-drinking marketing/branding jerk at Seattle's Best look for a new line of work.

Verizon Part 3

2008-01-16T20:01:00.000-05:00

Verizon Part 3

I'd like to skip writing about VZ, but honestly, they make it too easy. I got to my desk at work this morning and found a voicemail message from VZ. They just wanted to confirm my installation appointment. The message itself was completely automated, a mix of pre-recorded messages and text-to-speech. Since that type of application is exactly what I work on day in and day out (although I concentrate on inbound calls), it was automatically a bit more interesting to me than it might have been to the average Joe. So the voice was telling me about the time frame and date and what not, when it got to my address. Now imagine for the purposes of this post that I live at 1234 Pleasant Drive. This is what I heard : ". . . at 1 2 3 4 Pleasant Doctor."

I'm pretty sure that somewhere in the rules of programming TTS applications, there is a line that says "make sure the output matches the type of input." Thus, when feeding an abbreviation (like, oh, say "Dr") to your TTS engine, tell it that it's working with an address. Or pre-process the input to eliminate ambiguity.

At least I don't live on Main Saint.

I wonder if they'd hire me? They obviously need help with their website, their inbound call centers, and their outbound calling application. Resume is over to the right there, VZ dudes...

Dealing with Verizon, part 2

2008-01-11T11:42:00.000-05:00

OK, so the new TiVo showed up yesterday, and here I am without any CableCards still. And, despite what I'd been told by the TiVo rep, it appears that the HD can not be used with a cable box.

So, I went back to the VZ site this morning to find the number to call to order FiOS. Maybe there was an easier way, but the only way I could find it was to go through the address/phone number loops again. Finally I found it - 888 GET FIOS.

I called the number and the first thing they want me to do is "enter the phone number you are calling about." Errrr, I called "Get FiOS," why would they think I'm calling about a phone number? Evidently they think that everybody has VZ phone service? As I'm writing this sentence, I'm on hold, getting disclaimers and cross-selling messages about "phone/internet/video" bundles. OK, again, I called the number that specifically says "Get FiOS". It seems clear that all their numbers get dumped into one big call center. Now I'm being told there are "heavy call volumes". Yes indeed, I would imagine so, given the sheer futility of trying to use the website.

I have a sinking feeling that jumping from Comcast to Verizon is like going from the frying pan to the, ummm, other frying pan. At least there is no annoying on-hold music - although this does make me check the phone display fairly often to make sure I haven't been summarily disconnected. I sort of wonder if they really want to sell this service. Surely the sales call center should be well-staffed, even if their customer service is abysmal?

Oh hey, a ringing sound.

Now I'm talking to Brian, I think. He wants to know what phone number I'm calling about. (insert rolled eyes here). In a rather exasperated tone, I tell him I'm not calling about a phone number, I called the "Get FIOS" number. I give him my address and wait. He finally comes back and asks how many TVs; I decide to cut through the muck and tell him I want TV only, two cablecards and one standard definition box. I also mention that I'm not going to pay an activation fee, since their non-functional website is not my problem. There are very long delays while I can faintly here Brian typing.

We've gotten through the credit check now, and I'm on hold waiting for a price and installation date. This time there's music. Woo hoo. Wow, it's 10000001 and Strings, playing Moon River. I haven't heard crap like this in ages! Flashbacks to WIP-AM in Philadelphia. It's almost fun. But not really.

After all of Moon River and at least half of something I don't know the name of, Brian comes back and gives me the package price, which is pretty much what I'd expected. The question remains of why it took so long to add up four numbers. Maybe he had to use an abacus, I don't really know. Now we are waiting for an installation date. The first available date is a next Saturday, i.e. just over a week from now. That's OK, I guess, but the bad news is that it's a "wide open" appointment, which means anywhere from 8 AM till 5 PM. OK, whatever, I have no life anyway.

I've just now finished up with Brian. At this point, everything seems on track, but honestly, I'm going to be prepared for the worst. I've heard lots of nightmare stories about people trying to get CableCards installed.

Fingers crossed, over and out.

Their Roots Are Showing

2008-01-07T17:19:00.000-05:00

I was trying to check out Verizon's FIOS TV offerings today. I went ahead and ordered a TiVo HD, so I'm going to need CableCards, and getting away from Comcast is always a desirable goal. So I got on to the Verizon website and they would like me to verify that the service is offered in my area (never mind that I know it is, they send me junk mail all the time). To do this verification, I am supposed to put in my Verizon phone number. Which I don't have, I've been a customer of Cavalier Telephone for years. But that's OK, they tell me I can verify availability by putting in my address. The first attempt fails, presumably because I have had the temerity to spell out "Drive" in my street name. Maybe that's not really what happened, but on my second attempt, I put "Dr". This works. Sort of. The next screen asks me to verify that address, which I do. And then . . . I get a message telling me that there is Verizon phone service at my address, and I need to put in my phone number. Which, of course, doesn't work, because it's not a Verizon phone number. But that's OK, I can put in my address. GAH!

I've also tried to put in the phone number I had before my brief move to Georgia, which, IIRC, was a Verizon number that got ported to Cavalier when I first switched. But no, that doesn't get me anywhere either.

Now according to the few screens I was able to get to in this maze of twisty little web pages, all different*, was a mention that there is an "online only" offer of "no activation fee." Leaving aside for the moment the sheer ridiculousness of an "activation fee", let us pause to reflect that I can't make an online order, because their system has me trapped in an endless loop of address - phone number - address - phone number.

* Seriously, there is one address entry page that has the values for the State drop-down list ordered alphabetically by state name (thus VT comes up before VA, since Vermont comes before Virginia), and another address entry page that is almost identical, but VA comes before VT, since they ordered the list by postal abbreviation. Nice attention to detail there, folks. Neither one lets me past the dreaded phone number lock.

Dude, wait, what?

2007-10-08T21:03:00.000-04:00

I get these surveys in the mail once in awhile and I like to fill them out because I'm not your average suburban housewife, so maybe my responses will help skew their results a bit. And they offer to send me free stuff once in awhile, and who doesn't like free stuff?

So anyway, today I was going through the latest packet and I got to this introductory passage which said: "Many products that used to only be available in cans are now available in foil packages. Two examples would be tuna fish and cat food."

OK, yeah, I've had the tuna once or twice, and I've used the cat food several times. So honestly, as I'm reading through this set of questions, I'm thinking "Meow Mix" not "Star Kist." Then I got to the third question in the bunch: "Which preserves product flavor better, foil or can?"

OK, wait. Am I supposed to ask Toast about this? There is no way I can answer this question about cat food on my own.

Yeah, the little fuzzbucket is lying next to me purring his lungs out, but he's not really responsive about the whole can vs. foil pouch thing. Sorry, Home Testing Institute.

Stupid Reporting

2007-09-27T08:43:00.001-04:00

I heard this mentioned on "Marketplace Morning Report" this morning, and now I see it on the WaPo site, by way of Reuters. "Halo 3 sales exceed $170 million on first day, 'more than any movie debut'."

Ummmm, yeah, even in the big cities I don't think movie tickets have quite reached $60 each.

Apples and oranges much?

Working for the Weekend

2007-09-26T17:15:00.000-04:00

Further to yesterday's post:
I did hear back from SLDN; in fact, I had two follow-ups. First, I received an email response to my query. Unfortunately, it informed me that their had been a glitch in the system, and the arrangements had fallen through on their end, so no Pride Cap'n duty for me. Of course, this was not what I wanted to hear, but I will get over it. When I got home yesterday evening, I also found a phone message from Jason Knight, who is now working for SLDN in the communications office, and had seen my post. I called him back today and thanked him for taking notice, and to assure him that I would continue to support SLDN and hoped to find future volunteer opportunities. I sort of feel like I got to speak to a celebrity!

So, my takeaway here it to go ahead and sign up again next year, and be a lot more tenacious in keeping the lines of communication open. And if I can address one suggestion to SLDN, it would be - please continue with more programs at the grassroots level. I can't afford $200 a plate dinners and silent auctions and the like, but I do want to do more than just write an occasional check.

Of course, I continue to be disappointed with the local Pride organization, which once again has not acknowledged my email. I hope to talk to somebody on Saturday and find out why.

Before A Fall

2007-09-25T12:52:00.000-04:00

I'm not good at volunteering. I should do more, because I am fairly lucky to have a decent situation in life, and I think it's therefore incumbent on me to help out. With this basic premise in mind, I thought that I would take a step forward and volunteer to be a "Pride Captain" for the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, an organization that I've supported financially, and whose mission I agree with.

I contacted SLDN back in July to set this up. I didn't hear back immediately (in fact it took a couple weeks), but then it seemed like things were all set up. They would take care of things with the local Pride organization, and "send [me] information on the booth as [they] receive it from the event organizers." Sadly, I've heard nothing at all from anybody, and it's four days before the festival. I am also supposed to be expecting a shipment of materials "in the week before the event"; I suppose could still happen.

BUT .... yesterday I emailed the person at SLDN who had first contacted me and asked "what's up?" Very early this morning I used the "contact us" link on the GPV site to ask "what's up?" At this time, I can count the responses on no hands at all.

I should note that I had also used that GPV site link several months ago to send in a suggestion that they invite singer-songwriter Aiden James to perform, and got no response at all. For various additional reasons not documented here, it is very hard for me not to view this as yet another symptom of the Richmond closed circle gay society, but I'm trying not to go there.

I suppose that I should have followed up on this before this week, but see above about "not good at volunteering." Why wouldn't I expect people to follow-up on their side? I don't even know what has happened. Did SLDN not actually apply for the booth? Did GPVA turn them down? Am I worrying for no reason?

For now I guess I just sit and wait, my Saturday plans held hostage by the idea of wanting to do something good, and me not quite ready to give up. Maybe in the future I'll volunteer with my friend on the animal adoption thing. At least the puppies and kittens lick your face.

And soon I'll be hearing old winter's song

2007-09-18T20:32:00.000-04:00

Many's the time when I've written posts about pinball. I make no excuses, it's a subject and a pasttime that I really enjoy. It's been on my mind a lot lately, for various reasons. Some of what follows may have been posted previously. Oh well . . .

1 - I think I finally decided on a theme, if not an actual design, for my next tattoo. Surprisingly enough, given this entry, that theme would be pinball. OK, sure, that's a start, but I'm not completely sure where to go from there. At first I was thinking of something incorporating the plunger, the shot gauge and a ball, which might indeed, be an interesting design in the right place. The concept of a pair of flippers as a tramp stamp was quickly discarded. The current thought is to do something with the classic trio of pop bumpers. I'll figure it out soon.

2 - Of course thinking of pinball in general makes me think of the poor old machine that's been sitting in the back room, neglected for way too long. It's the classic Williams game, Gorgar, from 1979, the very first talking pinball machine. Here is the IPDB entry. I played the hell out of the game at an arcade in Stratford, Connecticut when I had my first real job and lived in my first real apartment, post-college. Some years later, when I had my own house and what seemed like a disposable income, I was able to get my very own Gorgar machine. The IPDB entry above mentions that it has a seven word vocabulary, but the important thing is that the words were combined into several different phrases, the best, of course, being "You beat Gorgar." That phrase is usually quickly followed by the knocking sound that indicates a free game has been earned. The other words, for the record, are "me, speaks, hurt, got". But hey, even that isn't really the best part of the game. It has a heartbeat sound that gets faster and faster as you play, and that makes it even more exciting. Here is an MP3 of the promo record that was produced, which I just found on these amazing intrawebs.

3 - Combining parts 1 and 2, I'm thinking that maybe the tattoo design I'm looking for will be not just pinball-related, but Gorgar-related. Just the pop-bumper cap, perhaps?

Or maybe a picture of the big red demon himself, or the hero dude? Lots of pics at the IPDB entry above. I dunno, on the one hand, the whole fantasy demon and/or warrior thing seems kind of played out for tat designs, but then again, if it's based on a classic pinball game?

4 - Searching earlier today for images to inspire me for the tat led me to several pages showing some very nicely restored pinballs. I have been pretty busy working on projects outside the house all summer, but as the weather begins to turn, I think it is time that I really get serious and get my old machine in working order. For a long time, all I've really had in mind was getting it operational, i.e. power up, lights on, bumpers working, etc., but it deserves more. And it's a pretty freakin' huge project from the looks of things --cleaning, painting, soldering, messing with electronics that I have no bloody right to be messing with. But damn, when I hear my very own machine saying "GORGAR speaks" when I power it up? Yeah, I won't be on the intrawebs, I'll be in the back room playing that silver ball.

More Fun With Fraud Fallout

2007-07-11T15:39:00.001-04:00

"Experience Life At SprintSpeed" says the new slogan. SprintSpeed apparently makes a glacier look like the Roadrunner . . .

I have several recurring bills that I've chosen to pay automatically via the credit card that was compromised over the weekend. Of course now that that card has been cancelled, I have to make sure that each of these places has updated information. One of these bills is for my Sprint mobile phone. Now I am 99 44/100 percent sure that I initially set up the automatic billing via their website, but as I clicked around their twisty maze of web pages, all different, I could not find a place to change the card information. I didn't really want to do so online anyway, being a little gun-shy on the web transaction front at this point. I clicked around some more until I found the list of phone numbers and called them. After punching in my information, I got to a menu asking me to say what I was calling about. "Change credit card" says I. "OK! I can help you with that!" says the overly perky recording. But she doesn't help me, after all, she just transfers my call to a live agent. Well, to a hold queue, where I am informed that my wait will be five to ten minutes. When I am finally connected, the agent proceeds to ask me for the same information I've already entered into the phone system (way to leverage the CTI there, guys!), and when she decides I might be who I say I am, asks me what I want. I tell her I need to change the credit card used for automatic billing. Alas, she can not help me with that. She's going to transfer me to the finance department, but first she gives me the direct number in case I get disconnected. (Lord knows this is actually a good precaution; my first call to Sprint this afternoon actually did result in a disconnect. You'd think a PHONE company could get the whole concept of call transfers figured out, right? But I digress...)

The transfer is actually successful, and I am once again asked to prove that I am me. Once that's out of the way, the agent tells me my current balance and asks how I would like to pay that today. I explain that I am not calling to make a payment, I am calling to update my credit card info. She can't help me - this seems to be a common occurrence at Sprint - so she dumps me off to her supervisor. Again with the verification. She too wants me to pay my bill. Jebus, Sprint, you get my money automatically every month, and it's not the due date yet. Chill on the paying you thing. My voice is getting hoarse from repeating my simple request. And guess what? (all together now) ... She can't help me.

She can send me a form, would that be OK? OK, whatever, just please end this nightmare. She asks for my email address. That would be the email address that they have in their records somewhere. Nonetheless, I just spell it out for her, and she wants me to stay on the line to verify I've gotten the form she's sending. It comes through with no subject line and no text in the body of the email, just an attachment in Microsoft Word format. Good thing I'm at work, so I can actually open it. And when I do, I see that it's a Nextel form. OK, granted Sprint merged with Nextel . . . IN AUGUST OF 2005!!! For crying out loud, they've even dropped "Nextel" from most of their advertising at this point. I'm not going to fill out a Nextel branded form and send it to what is more than likely the wrong address.

Supposedly, she's going to contact somebody and have another form sent to me. It's been over an hour and that hasn't happened.

Yeah, we're moving at SprintSpeed!

x-posted to Your Call Is Very Important To Us

More About Fraud and Blockbuster Online

2007-07-11T14:49:00.001-04:00

Ballbuster Online is more like it. After three or four go-rounds on email (at least two of which were virtually identical), they finally coughed up a toll-free number for me to call. Right before that, though, they actually were stupid enough to send me a separate email requesting that I update my billing information, because they'd been unable to charge the credit card they'd been given. No shit, Sherlock. What a bunch of effing morons.

So I called the number I'd been given (BTW, since they seem to guard it so tightly, I'll freely publish it here: Blockbuster Online Customer Service Toll-Free Number: 866--692-2789). I spoke to Chad, who, despite his charming Texas accent, had clearly been drinking the Kool-Aid; he more-or-less parroted what his email copy/paste buddies had already said.

I'd responded to the request to update my billing information with a rather heated email telling them in no uncertain terms what morons I thought them all to be. The reply to that contained another response, presumably copied and pasted from the Big Book of Blockbuster Online Useless Customer Service Responses, telling me "The credit card companies have given us explicit instructions not to modify customers' accounts in any shape, form or matter without their authorization through our legal department."

WTF-ever, dudes. I've called four other companies about this issue, and emailed a handful more. EVERY one of them immediately cancelled the fraudulently set up accounts.

Since BBO seems to have a ready supply of instantly copyable responses for this issue, one has to wonder just how often they get fraudulently set up accounts. And again, does keeping said accounts on the books as long as possible help the numbers they report to Wall Street and their shareholders?

x-posted to Your Call Is Very Important To Us

Blockbuster Supports Fraud?

2007-07-09T18:42:00.003-04:00

Without going into all the gory details, I seem to have been the victim of a (so far) minor bit of identity theft over the weekend.

Somebody signed me up for various services, or even made some purchases billed to one of my credit cards. In some cases, it was rather painless to cancel these transactions - the "confirmation" emails I received included toll-free contact numbers, and calling those numbers got me through to somebody quickly, who then would listen to my tail of woe and resolve the issue.

And then we have Blockbuster Online. No contact number in the email. No contact number on the website. No easy way to contact them at all. So I hit "reply" on the email welcoming me to their service and said "this was set up with stolen information, the credit card has been cancelled, so please cancel this registration."

Their response was priceless -- "Sorry you have to deal with this, but we are not authorized to cancel this account due to this claim of fraudulent activity or identity theft." (italics, mine).

Thus, my recently sent message to Blockbuster Investor Relations:

You know what's interesting? That a large company like Blockbuster will accept a fraudulently generated account for Blockbuster Online, but when the defrauded consumer attempts to get this resolved, he is told "we are not authorized to cancel this account due to this claim of fraudulent activity or identity theft."

I'm sure my local media outlets and the whole rest of the internet will be interested to know that Blockbuster worries more about inflating its "subscriber" numbers than resolving issues with fraud.

I had no problem at all contacting some of the seemingly sketchy companies that also were involved in this incident, and having them quickly and easily cancel the orders and verify that no attempt would be made to charge my credit card. They even published toll-free numbers so that I could contact them.

I'll never be a blockbuster customer, and I will make sure EVERYBODY knows how you all operate.

So there you go. If you're reading this, you are part of "the whole rest of the internet" and/or "EVERYBODY."

Please think twice about patronizing a company that seems to value "the numbers" more than security.

xposted to You Call Is Very Important To Us

Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Get Lost. Errr, No, Wait, Come Back!!

2007-05-09T13:22:00.000-04:00

On Sunday, May 6, 2007, Stars and Stripes published a story about Jason Knight, a sailor who was discharged from the Navy in 2004 under the U.S. military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. As has been the case for thousands of qualified military personnel since this policy was implemented, he was essentially told "Go away, we don't like your kind around here." And then a funny thing happened . . . nine months later, he was recalled to active duty. The article states that he is now being completely open about his sexuality, and "He’s better than the average sailor at his job," according to one of his direct supervisors.

So what's it going to be, Department of Defense? Are gay and lesbian soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines automatically unfit to serve or not? There have been dozens of ludicrous stories as a result of DADT (Bleu Copas being asked if he was involved in community theater comes to mind), but this really takes the cake. The cake that, apparently, the DoD wants to have and to eat, too.

As previously noted in this space, I had written to my congressman, Eric Cantor, regarding HR 1246, the bill that had been introduced by Rep. Marty Meehan, D-Mass calling for the repeal of DADT (and which is currently, for some reason, languishing in committee). To his credit, Cantor (or more likely somebody on his staff) sent me a letter acknowledging my input. I will now follow up with him, as well as write to both my senators.

I did my best . . .

2007-04-22T20:49:00.000-04:00

On Friday night, I set my travel alarm clock for 7:30 the next morning (I prefer to leave my regular clock-radio set for the week). My brother and family were in Williamsburg, VA, and I was scheduled to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning at Busch Gardens. I recall briefly waking at around 7 on Saturday morning and thinking I had another 30 minutes to sleep, so I rolled over and dozed off. Sometime later I work with a start, thinking I must have overslept. I peered over to the travel alarm and saw a blank display; its battery had run out. In a panic I sat up and looked across the room to the display on the cable box and saw that it was exactly 7:30. I got up and started my day, which mostly involves feeding the cat.

After making sure Toast was fed, I sat down at the computer to check on email and a few other sites before it was time to get showered and dressed and on the road. Perhaps twenty or twenty-five minutes later, I was sitting here at the computer when I heard a strange sound. At first I thought it was Toast coughing up a hairball, but I noticed it went on longer than the horking process. As I walked out of the office to investigate, I heard more of a splashing sound, coming from the main bathroom, specifically from the toilet. I then figured it was some kind of not pleasant sewage problem, exactly what I didn't need at that moment.

I walked into the bathroom and lifted the lid of the toilet to see what was going on, and was shocked and amazed to discover . . . one very wet squirrel. Its little claws could get no purchase on the porcelain, thank god, or I imagine I'd have had a problem with a squirrel running about inside, and my day pretty much would have been ruined.

I put the lid down and wondered just double you tee eff I could do about this. I had to leave in half an hour to get to Williamsburg to see my brother and family! I couldn't just leave the squirrel in there to drown. Besides, if I did so I'd only have to deal with that later anyway. I spotted the wire mesh wastebasket, which seemed like a good trap, but how to get him in there, and then keep him there? The squirrel had frozen when I first lifted the toilet lid but every couple of minutes, I would hear him scrambling and splashing. I have to imagine he was rather exhausted and frightened.

I went to the front hall closet and found some old winter gloves and put them on. I then stepped back into the bathroom. I still had no real plan, although I did have the presence of mind to close the bathroom door behind me, in case it whatever I did all went pear-shaped. I grabbed the wastebasket, placed it right by the bowl, and placed a towel nearby. I lifted the lid again and looked down at my visitor. He looked back at me, but stayed fairly immobile. It finally dawned on me that maybe the best way to grab a squirrel was by the tail. I reached down and did so and lifted him quickly out of the water. He screeched as I dropped him into the wastebasket; I quickly placed the towel across the top and held it tightly in place.

It wasn't particularly easy to open the bathroom door while holding a basket full of wet squirrel, but I managed to do so. I'd previously opened the door from the kitchen out to the side deck, so it was no problem getting out there. I placed the basket on the deck and tipped it onto its side, then pulled the towel back. I'd imagined the squirrel would dart off in a flash, but instead he squeaked a bit more and then slowly walked off. I closed the door and went back inside to get showered and dressed and head off to the theme park.

Unfortunately, I am sad to have to report that little Rocky the squirrel didn't make it. I thought once he'd walked off yesterday morning that he'd dry off and be OK. However, I found his body next to a piece of deck furniture as I was working outside this afternoon.

I dug a small grave for him near the back corner of my property where I'm trying to improve the landscaping, and planted some marigolds on top.

Sorry, little Rocky dude. I did my best for you . . .

L'Chaim

2007-03-16T18:09:00.000-04:00

(something less serious)

A few weeks ago the annual garden show hit town. Lots of nice indoor displays of gardens (forced blooms, perhaps, but pretty nonetheless). It gets one thinking of spring, even if it is a tad too early for actually working outside.

Then, this past weekend, was the annual "Bloomin' Days" sale at one of the local garden centers. They always seem to get a nice, unseasonably warm, weekend for this sale. It was tempting to buy too many annuals, but they'd surely get zapped by a late season frost. I still managed to spend nearly $200 in two visits, ending up with a couple indoor plants, some nice new shrubs, and a handful of perennials. I spent all day Sunday outside working on planting some of the items, although I still have a lot more work to do. It doesn't help that I get easily distracted, moving from one task to another while I'm outside during these early days of spring.

In the meantime, the crocus and iris bulbs I planted last year are popping up, and the daffodils that have been around since I bought this house are in full bloom. There are small buds forming on last year's hydrangeas that I'd given up for dead, and even the azalea twig that I coated with rooting hormone and stuck in the ground is proving to be hale and hearty.

Last night, for the first time this year, I was able to sleep with the back door from my bedroom open, and I woke up this morning to the sound of dozens of birds - including the neighbor's rooster, although even that wasn't annoying me this morning.

I aim to make the best of this spring season, before we settle in to the unbearably humid days of a typical central Virginia summer.

Big Mouth, Small Brain

2007-03-07T17:18:00.000-05:00

Once every week or two, I get some ridiculous forwarded email from my parents. This week it was some chucklehead's diatribe about new dollar coin being issued this year. The email, complete with misspellings and unresearched "information" screams bloody murder because, allegedly, the phrase "In God We Trust" is missing. GASP! Now personally, I don't really need four words on a coin to affirm my belief system. Hell, I can barely read those tiny letters anyway. But maybe Mister Screaming Looney should have actually done some research, like oh say at this page which clearly shows that not only is the sacred phrase not missing, but is included in a new and interesting way, creating a new style of US coin.

Part of the email screed stated "I don't know who first came up with the idea of putting 'In God We Trust' on coins . . . " Hmmm, a little less time writing unfounded calls for boycotts in multicolor 24 point fonts and a simple lookup on Wikipedia would have let him know that it was Secretary of the Treasury Salmon P. Chase, in response to a letter from a concerned citizen. Ah, but never let the facts get in the way. (More details here).

In the meantime, do you think Mr. Looney who originated the email might be taking the time to communicate with his congressional representatives about the dishonorable way the wounded troops have been treated at places like Walter Reed? No, I guess that's left to liberal pinko homos like me.

Liar Liar

2007-03-06T10:16:00.000-05:00

I have been keeping an eye on the stories about the firings of seven U.S. attorneys last year. Aside from the involvement of the White House, and the possibility that politics played a part in the firings, there is something else that came to light yesterday which bothers me.

One of the attorneys fired was David Iglesias of New Mexico. He has stated that he received two calls from congresspeople pressuring him on certain cases he was working on. Last week, when Senator Pete V. Domenici (R-N.M.) was asked about this, he reportedly said "I have no idea what he's talking about."

Suddenly yesterday, Sen. Domenici said that he did, indeed, call Atty. Iglesias, although he denies having applied any pressure. How interesting that he had this urge to set the matter straight, a day before Atty. Iglesias was to testify before Congress, having previously made clear that he would name names if requested to do so under oath. The Senator also says "In retrospect, I regret making that call and I apologize."

Well that's real nice, Senator, but what about the GIANT LIE you told about the whole thing last week? That part where you said "I have no idea what he's talking about." Do you regret that? Would you like to apologize for that? You know, apologize for lying to the press, your constituents and the rest of the world. Or perhaps we are just to accept that lying is a normal day to day occurrence in your life as a Senator? If so, I hope the people in your state throw you out on your ear the next chance they get.

Support The Troops

2007-03-01T17:41:00.000-05:00

A recent tactic of those who - for some unfathomable reason- actually support the Iraq War, has been to get military personnel to tell us that "if you don't support the war, you don't support the troops." Well, sorry, but I'll continue to be an evil liberal and stick with the original line. I most certainly do NOT support the war. It is abundantly clear that the justifications given for the initial invasion were complete lies and that nobody took the time to understand the political and cultural issues that would arise after once we reached "mission accomplished." Nevertheless, I do, in general, support the men and women who have been forced to take part in the war. I support them by wanting them to be home with their families and other loved ones. I support them by wanting those who serve to be able to do so without being subject to discrimination. And I support them by wanting those who have been injured in the course of this ridiculous war to be able to receive only the best of care when they arrive back in the US. On the other hand, I don't particularly support the Special Forces guy I met while living near Fort Benning who loudly proclaimed "all the hajii's loved us!" He was just a moron.

[N.B. some links below may require registration. Try BugMeNot for your user id / password needs]

Reprentative Martin Meehan (D-Mass.) has introduced H.R. 1246 to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." His bill has 109 co-sponsors, even some fairly high-profile Republican representatives, such as Rep. Christopher Shays (R-Conn.). More details of the bill can be found by searching THOMAS.

We are lucky now to have a high profile Marine coming out and bringing attention to this fight. Read the story of Eric Alva here. Or read the stories of others who have been discharged from the military at the Servicemember's Legal Defense Network.

It is incredibly easy to contact your own congressperson using the forms at the Write Your Representative page. You don't even have to know who he or she is (although, of course you should); if you know your address, the page will direct your message to the right person.

Here is the text of the message I sent this morning to my congressman:

To The Honorable Eric Cantor

I have just read that Rep. Meehan of Massachusetts has presented H.R. 1246 to repeal the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. In researching the bill, I see that over one hundred of your peers have signed on as co-sponsors, including several in the Republican party.

Ideally, I would like to see you become a co-sponsor as well; at the very least I urge you to support the passage of this bill to end discrimination. At a time when the need for qualified military personnel is perhaps greater than it has ever been before, discharge of soldiers under this policy is simply indefensible. There is a fundamental dichotomy in asking gay and lesbian soldiers to fight for our rights and freedoms and then to deny them their own freedom to live without fear of discrimination.

If for any reason at all you do not plan to support this bill, I would like to know the reasons why.

In other military-related news, The Washington Post is reporting that Top Officials Knew about the deplorable conditions at some parts of Walter Reed hospital (as previously reported in the WaPo on 18 February). It was stunning to read that not only have officials apparently known of the problems, but even now they are seeking to continue the cover-up -- "This week, in a move that some soldiers viewed as reprisal for speaking to the media, the wounded troops were told that early-morning room inspections would be held and that further contact with reporters is prohibited."

Since I'm on a roll today in writing to people in Congress, I chose to address this issue with both of my Senators, Warner and Webb.

Here is that text:

Senator [Webb/Warner]:

I was quite shocked to read the Washington Post's recent stories about the deplorable conditions that some veterans have to endure at parts of Walter Reed hospital. It seemed, however, that appropriate steps were being taken to address the issues. This morning, though, I have been even more shocked to read the latest in the Post, indicating that top ranking officials have known about the problems for years and seem to have actively ignored them, possibly even worked to cover up detection of these issues.

From what I've read, I see that low-ranking personnel have been discharged, while the upper ranks do all they can to shirk responsibility. It is all to reminiscent of Abu Ghraib. A culture grows that allows these things to happen, but the people in command won't take any blame.

I urge you to push hard for investigations into what has been going on. The soldiers who have been injured in fighting for our country deserve no less.

Thank you.

UPDATE: After I wrote this post at work this morning, it was announced that the general in command at Walter Reed had been relieved of command. Still not enough in my eyes, as the guy they've put in place temporarily is one who seems to have been trying to whitewash the whole issue. Nonetheless it's a small step in the right direction.

Another open letter to American Express

2007-01-12T17:43:00.000-05:00

Dear American Express;

Hi there. I've written before, but you probably don't remember. Certainly when I mentioned that the deluge of solicitations to upgrade to a Platinum personal AmEx card was not endearing you to me, you quite blithely ignored my plea to be left alone.

Well here's the thing, AmEx -- somewhere along the line, you've decided that I have or that I am a "small business." I'm not. I worked as an independent contractor for a bit in 2003 and 2004, but that doesn't mean that I'm a small business. Nevertheless, you seem to think that bombarding me with solicitations for various types of cards in your "OPEN" network will somehow magically change my whole life. At first, when I started to receive these offers, I would write on the application "remove me from your list" and send it back in your business-reply envelopes. This had absolutely zero effect (although it did cost you money, so I'm happy about that). I thought that after filing my taxes as a typical wage-slave, my name might drop off your lists, but that didn't happen.

A couple months ago, I tried calling the number listed on one of the letters, to beg to be left alone. I think that worked for a short amount of time, but somehow, someway, you've once again decided that I really might be interested in a small business card. What's slightly odd is that no other credit card company seems to be suffering from this delusion, so I really wonder about how well you source the information you buy.

In any case, so far this year, I've received four of these solicitations. It's only the twelfth of January, for goodness' sake! You are like a small child that keeps almost poking me in the side -- "does this bug you? does this bug you? I'm not touching you! does this bug you?"

Well, yeah, actually it does bug me. Let me state unequivocally right here and now that if I ever do start up a business, I would never consider one of your cards.

Today I went through the list-removal exercise again. I called the number on the solicitation, but of course the people in that call center can't help me. "Call this number," I am told. So I call the number I was given, only to hear "the number you have dialed can not be reached. Please check the number and try again." Nice. I call the first place again, report the problem, and am given a different number. This time I connect, but an IVR system wants me to enter my account number. This does not bode well. I remain silent and press no keys, and eventually reach an agent, who of course wants my account number. I tell this person that I'm not calling about a card, I want to get off of a mailing list. I'm given yet another number to call. I bitch and moan that I'm tired of being given the runaround, and the agent says "I can connect you to that department." Well, why the hell didn't you just do that in the first place?

I end up in a call queue. The recording tells me that "due to higher than normal call volumes, your wait time might longer than anticipated." OK, this is just a guess, but maybe you're having higher than normal call volumes because you're sending out way too many incorrectly targetted solicitations? Eventually, I reach a live person. I give all my information and am assured that my name will be removed from the mailing lists, although it will take four to six weeks. I mention that I was promised that I'd been removed once before, and got some story about my name being on another list they bought.

Whatever. In the meantime, each and every solicitation will be returned to you using the business reply envelopes so that I can bump up your costs just a little as payback for being so freaking annoying.

Let's talk soon about the neverending platinum card "invitations" m'kay?

Yours Truly,
Larry Mac (NOT a small business)

The Battle Continues

2006-11-18T14:09:00.000-05:00

A little catch up on this posting space; some things I'd already put up in LiveJournal.

The day after the election, when Virginians unfortunately voted YES to an amendment to our Bill of Rights (!) prohibiting marriage, I wrote the following letter to the Richmond Times-Dispatch.

To all of those who voted yes on question one: Congratulations, you have managed to make discrimination and hate a "right" in Virginia. Yes, this new clause you have approved goes into our Bill of Rights.

Some of you have done this with the cry "we must protect heterosexual marriage!" What kind of marriage would that be? Do you want to protect somebody like pop icon Britney Spears, who gets a throwaway marriage in Las Vegas, then marries a man who is willing to just walk away from his pregnant girlfriend, has two babies of her own with that man and then decides to divorce him? Is that what you need to protect? Two years ago, when San Francisco and Portland Oregon briefly attempted to do the right thing and allow marriage for all, the same sex couples getting married were doing so to express their desire for a lifelong commitment to each other. How does this harm anybody? Massachusetts has allowed same sex marriage since 2004. What has happened? Nothing much, except that people who love each other can have their unions recognized by the state.

For those who cried "think of the children!" what is it that you are afraid of? That the children will see happy loving couples, living peacefully together? For those who somehow justify your bigotry by saying you are "pro-family," I ask, why then are you trying to prevent new families from being created? For those who would bring your religious beliefs into a purely civil matter, I simply will say that the God that I learned about is a loving God. When I was in Sunday school, I did not learn about hate and discrimination. I can only hope that you are prepared to face His judgment as you have so easily chosen to judge others.

Although I received a call the following day from the paper asking me to verify that I'd written the letter, a week went by before they actually published it. What they did publish was severely edited.

No picking on other people's g/G/od I guess.

I just walked out to my mailbox to pick up today's delivery and found a letter from "The Family Foundation," one of the key backers of the amendment. In true Rove-esque fashion, they attempt to shift the argument to a different place:

We believe that the best possible way to raise a child is with a man and a woman, married.

There are thousands of studies that show this. There will always be a Britney Spears scenario out there, but we strive for the best possible outcome for society. That's not bigotry or hate, simply asking the state to do what's best. Fortunately 1.3 million American's [sic] here in Virginia agree.

OK, assuming for a moment that these "thousands of studies" do exist, how is allowing a same-sex couple to marry in any way preventing a child from being raised by "a man and a woman, married"? How does allowing a same-sex couple to marry in any way affect somebody else's marriage? Again, why does an expression of LOVE scare these people?

I have not yet begun to fight.

For the good of the country

2006-11-18T09:43:00.000-05:00

I had quite the long and detailed internal conversation with myself about making this post. In the end, I won!

Joe has a post up talking about Mike Jones, the guy whose information about sex and drugs provoked the downfall of evangelist Ted Haggard. Included in the post is a request to send a little something to Mike via PayPal, since he is now both unemployed and virtually unemployable. Reading through the comments on Joe's blog, it is clear that some people would like to sit in judgment of Mike because of his prior method of earning a living. Yet how would he have been able to reveal the information he did unless he was "working"?

I certainly will not attempt to judge Mr. Jones, because honestly, don't we call get judged just a little too much by the conservatives/Republicans/Christian Right/Voters in Virginia ?

As you know, you go to war against the hypocritical "Christians" with the homosexuals you have. They’re not the homosexuals you might want or wish to have at a later time.

Let's not leave Mike without any body armor. The email to direct PayPal funds to is "massageandmuscle@aol.com"

The place to debate the issue is not here.

Honor Every Veteran

2006-11-14T18:53:00.000-05:00

At the dance party this past weekend, they had beer mats that stated "Honor Every Veteran."

These had been printed by the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network. I have been aware of this organization and their work to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" for several years now. I had not, until this evening, supported their efforts with a donation.

On the back it says the following:

One million lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans have served in our armed forces. Yet, the Pentagon fires 2 people every day for being gay."

TWO PEOPLE EVERY DAY!

Regardless of my personal feelings about the United States being in Iraq, the fact is that we are there, and yes, I fully believe it is possible to support the troops without supporting the war, nor the Commander In Chief. I also freely admit to having quite conflicted views on military service, duty to country, fetishization of uniforms, etc. Those views are not the topic of this post.

Beyond that, frankly, I don't have a dog in this hunt. I have not served, and as far as I know, the few friends that I have who have served or are serving are not at risk from DADT. Maybe it's because I remember all to clearly the fear and isolation of being in the closet, which was of course a closet of my own choosing. The people affected by this policy are forced into a closet constructed by the US military, and if they dare to come out during their time of service, they lose their jobs. I feel that this is an important issue, and one I choose to put some effort behind.

So given the fact that the US is in both Iraq and Afghanistan, another cold hard fact is that there is a severe shortage of military personnel. One of the most critical shortages faced by the military is that of well-trained Arabic translators. Yet, since the inception of DADT, over fifty soldiers with that specific training have been dismissed; over eight hundred in total who have specialized skills.

A year ago, in an absolutely stunning display of ineptitude, officers at Fort Bragg even saw fit to discharge Bleu Copas, a well-trained Arabic language specialist, with no more evidence than some anonymous emails. He didn't tell, even though they did, apparently ask. Reportedly, they even went so far as to ask him if he was involved in community theater. What's next? "Do you own any CDs by The Pet Shop Boys?" "How many times have you seen The Sound Of Music?"

I urge anybody who is at all interested or affected by this to check out both the SLDN website linked above, as well as the SLDN blog.

Perhaps Robert Gates will finally do the right thing and repeal this useless policy. I haven't seen much on where he stands. In the meantime, I feel it is imperative to support those who choose to enter the US military, knowing the dangers of enlisting during wartime, and especially knowing that this policy can be used against them at any time.

These Are Not The Bucks You Are Looking For

2006-10-11T08:34:00.000-04:00

aka The Buck, What Buck?, part 2

It should be no surprise to anybody who has read my blog entries that I don't mind complaining to companies about their customer service, or lack thereof. Sorry, but I have high expectations of the people that I'm giving my money to -- or possibly giving my money to. Call me a dick if you must. I do also send compliments when warrented, but sadly I find those occasions to be infrequent.

I've noticed an interesting phenomenon recently. I don't know that it's a trend, but I have two or three data points to work with. Here is how it plays out -- I have some experience that causes me to go to a corporate website and fill out a complaint form or a survey or whatever. I get an emailed response saying how sorry the company is and that they will have somebody contact me. But then nobody contacts me!

The first occurence was with CVS. I had reviewed the Sunday ad and written a short list of items that I needed. During my lunch breack one day I went to the nearest store and attempted to find the stuff on my list. Either things were not in stock, not marked as being on sale, or didn't even appear to be stocked at this store. If you are going to advertise something as "Assorted varieties on sale," then I think it's pretty important to actually indicate which of those varieties are, in fact, on sale. Or, if you are going to have a giant portion of the front page of your ad taken up advertising an exciting new toothpaste, I think it's important to have some indication in the store of where one might actually find that toothpaste.

I left empty-handed. I filed a report on their website and a few days later, I got the obligatory "gosh we're so sorry email". Actually, here is what is said (name redacted): "We have received your e-mail and have asked the District Manager, XXXXX XXXXXX to contact you directly regarding the service at the store." Two weeks later, I sent a reply to the email: "I assume that what you mean below is that Mr. XXXXXX has been asked to ignore my comments completely, as I have not heard a thing. I will be happy to take my business elsewhere." There were a couple more exchanges; they wanted my phone number, I refused. Another two weeks went by with no response, I was told that "they" had been in meetings in Florida, and "somebody" would contact me "real soon." That was September 16, and the last I heard anything from CVS.

Round two: Firehouse Subs. A new location of this sub shop opened near my house about two months ago. I decided to check it out one evening. I was a little surprised when the guy who took my order (and money) told me it would be "about seven minutes," but I guess for a hot sandwich that's reasonable. But that seven minutes slowly became ten, fifteen, and nearly twenty before they called my name. And they didn't call my name to give me my tasty meal, no they wanted to tell me that there had been some kind of mix-up and it would be "another few minutes." Now, I'm no food-establishment operator, but when you've at least tripled the time you promised to deliver a meal, wouldn't a free soft-drink or something like that be a nice gesture? "We are REALLY sorry, sir, there's been a mix-up, would you like a free Coke while you wait? We'll bring this out to you as quickly as we can."

Well, yeah, I live in a fantasy world. All I got was a mumbled "sorry for the wait" and eventually, my sandwich. I have to admit, it was pretty tasty, but I do expect a slightly swifter experience when I get what amounts to fast food. Off to the website, filled out the survey. Got a response entitled "Disappointing Web Survey Reply" including the line "One of our representatives will be contacting you to discuss your visit."

Again, I waited two weeks before asking WTF? This time the excuse was that the person who had sent the initial reply didn't pass it along to the right people. OK, fine. But that was September 18, and the last I heard anything from Firehouse Subs.

Look, I don't really care about being contacted. In both cases, that was their idea. But those bucks didn't just get passed, they seem to have disappeared completely from the face of the planet.

Page three: Sur La Table. Fancy, somewhat over-priced kitchen stuff. I was looking around for some small tiles to use on a table that I was building, and in general just looking around. Nobody working there asked me if they could help (which usually I consider a blessing). As I wandered the store, it occurred to me that perhaps I could get gift cards from this place for some of my relatives. But then as I was walking between two display racks, one of the store employees (who apparently was helping some other customers) stepped right in front of me and stuck her arm literally in front of my face to show them something. Quite clearly I was not the droid she was looking for. I said "excuse me" and walked around the other side of the display.

Of course I had to write that one up. In this case, the response I got included an apology on behalf of the whole corporation and then it simply said that "you may be contacted to further resolve this issue." [emphasis added]. So technically they did not overpromise and underdeliver, but honestly, I think this was the most egregious example of customer disrespect I had run into in quite some time. So yeah, they're off the list. Too bad, because I thought getting some strawberry milk flavoring powder for my brother would be amusing.

Again, just take some responsiblity, people.

And please don't make promises you don't plan to keep.

2006-10-08T11:40:00.000-04:00

Cybermen Call Centre

One of my favorite TV shows meets my career.

The Buck? What Buck?

2006-09-19T10:32:00.000-04:00

America needs you, Harry Truman. More specifically, customer service in America needs you. You with your funny single-letter middle name and all.

I am going to my college homecoming weekend at the end of the month and I was checking out the official alumni hotel on Expedia. As I drilled down further into the hotel details, I noticed something wasn't quite right. The "nearby attractions" and driving directions from the airport were for a completely different location. It was for the same hotel chain, just 20 miles away. Luckily I know the area well enough, and I didn't really need the directions or other information. I did, however, think that it would be a good thing to let Expedia know about this. Somebody might get confused. So I used their little online form and sent a brief note outlining the problem.

Here is the the gist of their response:

We apologize for the confusion. The hotel provides for any information on the site directly.

In other words: "Hey! Not our fault! Thank you, come again!"

And yes the website I was looking at for the hotel information said Expedia.com at the top. I don't care where the information comes from. Just fix it.

Here is the proper response "Thank you for letting us know of this error, we will contact the hotel to get the correct information and have it updated within three days."

A couple years ago, I had some kind of problem with the photo processing desk at the nearby Target store. I don't recall specifically what the issue was, but I was bothered enough to go to the Target website and lodge a complaint.

The response that time was "the photo kiosks are operated by a different company. Thank you for shopping at Target!"

Ummm, yeah, the photo kiosk is inside the Target. Various special offers for the photo kiosk are published in the Target weekly ad. There is no tape on the floor (a la Les Nessman) indicating "You are now leaving Target and entering some other company."

Damn, people. Take some responsibility.

Like no other?

2006-09-11T17:36:00.000-04:00

I never thought I'd be praising Sony in this space, and yet here I am to do just that. At least a little bit.

I have had a love/hate relationship with Sony for several years now. I got hooked on their electronics a long time ago, for better or worse, and that led me to having way too many items in my house with that nameplate. TV(s), VCR(s), audio equipment, digital camera(s), computer(s) etc. Although I've never had any quality issues with the equipment, I have been quite frustrated with some of their marketing practices, I was dismayed at the whole "rootkit" fiasco, and I think the whole PS3 thing is a joke.

In any event, when I wanted a new notebook computer two years ago, I quickly decided on a Sony VAIO S150. I love it, it's light, has a great display, does the things I want it to do. Except that a couple months ago it started being balky about booting up. Press the power key, watch a couple lights turn on, wait to see if something would happen. If nothing happened, then press and hold the power key until it turned off and try again. It was getting to the point where it would take five or six or seven tries before it would boot up. The warranty was over, but I'd bought it using an American Express card, so their Buyer's Assurance program was in effect. I filed a claim, then started to go through the process of creating a repair ticket with Sony via their website. That was a bit of a hassle, but I finally got through it all. Before I left their site that evening though, I decided to look around a little bit and lo and behold, I found an announcement that "certain" models of the S series had a motherboard problem that might manifest itself as refusing to boot up. Hmmmmm. Since I'd registered my purchase with them back in 2004, I certainly wish they'd notified me of this, rather than having me stumble across it almost by accident. I called the number listed in the announcement, the guy took my information, confirmed the problem and said they'd send me a box in which to return my PC for service.

That was a Friday night. I spent some time over the weekend backing up everything, since they had GREAT BIG disclaimers everywhere about doing so. When I got home from work on Monday, FedEx had delivered a box to me - well actually an unconstructed box with unconstructed inserts. I spent some time putting it all together, packed up my precious S150 and took it all to the nearby FedEx/Kinko's. My timing was bad, I didn't get there until about half an hour after the cutoff, so it didn't leave town till Tuesday. For the next two days, I pressed the "track shipment" button on the FedEx website like a lab rat on cocaine. After I knew it had gotten to San Diego, I tried to keep tabs on it via the Sony site. That was a little less informative, although I did get an email on Friday morning saying "Sony Service has received your product for repair." At least I knew it was "in the system."

To my great surprise, I then received an email from FedEx on Saturday, telling me that a package was being shipped to me, with an anticipated delivery of this past Tuesday (stupid holiday!). Although that email from Sony had indicated that they would send me periodic updates on the status of the repair, I'd gotten nothing more from them. I more than half expected to get the box on Tuesday with some lame excuse about not filling out the paperwork properly or some such.

Eventually, the long weekend ended, my long day at work on Tuesday ended and I got home to find a delivery slip on my door, noting that an in-person signature was required. I had anticipated that. Lucky for me, it also said I could pick up the box at the FedEx facility after 7:00 PM. W00T! I had to kill an hour and a half . . . but I drove the ten miles to the depot and got my package. I got it home, took out my PC, pressed the power button and it worked. And it has been working all week, so I guess it really is fixed.

The whole thing took a week. It might have been less if I'd managed to get the box out earlier on that Monday.

So, major kudos for the actual repair process. Slightly less kudo-fu for the lack of notification of the recall.

No, this doesn't mean I'm a total Sony fanboy again. Far from it. But I've heard so many horror stories of other computer repairs (yes, I'm looking at you, Apple), that I certainly can't complain.

Hello, Dwell Magazine? Roll yourself up and ...

2006-09-02T17:18:00.000-04:00

. . . stick yourself up your ass.

What is it with magazines? For years, they've been marketing themselves via the old "free trial issue" gambit. For years, I've been taking those free trial issues and writing "cancel" on the invoices. That usually works, but of course there is the odd exception like the lunkheads at Consumer Reports.

A little while ago, I got another of these offers from Dwell magazine. It seemed interesting enough, so I requested my free issue. In late July or early August, I received, on the same day, the current (at that time) issue, plus the one that came before. OK, trick number one with these guys. Assuming I sign up for the full subscription, they're going to say they already sent me two issues, even though one of them was out-of-date.

Now, in this case, I actually enjoyed the magazine enough that I decided to go ahead and pay for the subscription. I don't yet have the cancelled check in front of me, but I know it cleared my bank on 8/21, and from a phone call earlier today, I know that they processed it on 8/17.

Today I get a letter, dated 8/17, telling me that my subscription "remains unpaid after three months." WTF? I didn't even know what Dwell was three months ago, I've only received two issues (one of them outdated, as mentioned above), so they must have some interesting calendars there at subscription HQ. This letter goes on to blather about their "good faith" and how they offered me this "grace period." In other words, they pretty much am saying I'm a lousy deadbeat.

I immediately checked my bank account online and saw when the check had cleared, then I called the number on the letter. The young woman on the phone tells me my payment had been received on 8/17 (same day this letter was generated) and wants to get by with just the old "they must have crossed in the mail." I'm not buying it. First of all, even at their worst, it doesn't take two weeks for the post office to deliver mail. Second of all, I don't like the tone of this letter. I tell her to cancel my subscription and refund my money. She starts to tell me something about when the next issue will arrive, so I have to cut her off and repeat myself. Then she says I'll still receive the November issue (WTF?) and get a pro-rated refund after that. Not acceptable. She says there's nothing she can do, it's up to "the refund department." Not acceptable. She finally gets a "supervisor" on the line, who promises me he'll take care of things, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Do I get to send a letter to them in two weeks impugning their integrity?

Here's the thing. I know these magazines are using some subscription service place. I know that it's in Harlan, Iowa, because that's where the payments all go to. These are the same people that were "handling" the Consumer Reports subscription. Some dickweed with an MBA is probably crafting these letters, and providing scripts for the phone reps.

The problem for all these magazines is that they keep this all transparent. They oursource this "service" to Chuckleheads, Inc, Harlan, IA 51593, and allow the magazine name to be used. So who do I get pissed at? Dwell. Consumer Reports. Whoever.

This letter was signed by a "George Frost, Business Manager." I went to the Dwell website and of course there is no sign that such a person exists. Dickweed MBA probably decided it was an authoritative sounding name and title to put at the bottom the letter.

Look, I work for an outsourcing company, but I am quite careful to never imply that I represent Large Insurance Company, Inc. My mom was always big on the saying "a person is known by the company he keeps." I'd have to say that a company is known by the people it keeps, directly or not.

It's just as well, I don't need any more extra paper coming into the house anyway.

Your call is very important to us

2006-08-26T16:59:00.000-04:00

I got my model 500 desk set! It's sweet. Probably a 70s or 80s vintage -- it has a rotary dial, but also the modular connector. Best of all, I have discovered that I can actually make outgoing calls with it. For some reason I had thought that perhaps the lines wouldn't accept pulse dialing, but I'm happy to say I was wrong.

Next mission, a wall phone, model 554.

One Ringy Dingy . . .

2006-07-28T10:29:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about telephones lately. I get nostalgic for the times when phone numbers had named exchanges, The first phone number I remember, from our house in Warminster, PA, began with "OSborne 2." Even as a kid, I though "Osborne" was a dorky name. (Apologies to any readers who might have that name.) My aunt's number was an OSborne 5, I think. My grandmother's was TUrner 6. I think phone numbers must have been easier to remember then, since you only had to know a name and 5 additional digits. And if you knew where a person lived, you probably had a good idea what exchange he or she lived in, so then it was down to just the numbers. Of course the last time I had any occasion to know any phone numbers like that I was no more than 11 years old, and I guess I didn't have a lot of numbers to keep track of.

I liked it better when area codes had to have a 1 or a 0 as the second digit, and I knew most of the codes for most of the country. That wasn't a marketable skill, but it had to have been worth some geek points. I enjoyed learning how big cities got the codes that took the least time to dial. Since the 0 or 1 could only appear in the second position, that left 2 through 9 (although I think the rule was 2 through 8) for the other digits, meaning 212 was the "lowest" area code there was, and of course it went to New York, New York. Chicago and LA tied for next fewest clicks of the dial with 312 and 213 respectively. I guess the federal government just wasn't that important, stuck with a big ol' 0 in the middle, although they got the 2's on the ends.

When I was about 13, I learned how to "dial" numbers by using just the switchhook. Touchtone was still an add-on luxury service. Even when it became just a regular part of service, lots of phones still were "pulse" only. I remember about ten years later having a small device that could be held over the microphone end of a handset which would produce DTMF tones, but I don't recall what it was used for. You'd have to have dialed the phone to connect to some service or other, because just sending tones on an open line wouldn't have been useful. Hmmmmm.

I'm still fascinated by Central Office buildings. Secret buildings with only a couple doors, no windows, and not a lot of markings on the outside. What is in there? Yes yes, I know, "switching equipment." And probably lots of NSA surveillance gear too.

So I guess I can't get my named exchanges back. Heck, my cell phone number starts with 304. You can't even make up a name when you have a 0 in there. And speaking of cell phones, there's obviously no going back on the area code thing. Cell phones, pagers, fax machines, etc etc etc. We're going to run out of numbers in the next twenty years or so, although I'm sure there's a plan.

What I really want, then, is an old desk phone, the kind with a dial and a real bell, the kind that you could bash a burglar over the head with and really do some damage. Not that I have a burglar problem, but it can't hurt to be prepared. I want an AT&T, "BELL SYSTEM PROPERTY (Not For Sale)", manufactured by Western Electric Model 500. Or maybe a 2500 set -- basically the same phone, but in glorious TouchTone.

Missing Links

2006-07-27T09:22:00.000-04:00

A month or so ago, I got a notice that the place where I was hosting my .org website was shutting down, so I had to find a new place. Not a major problem, just some backing up of files, signing up at a new place, uploading files. I got the first two steps done with no trouble at all.

And then the drive where I stored the backup of my website? Died. Went to meet it's maker. Kicked the bucket, shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!!

Yeah.

So I have to do some work there. I've tried some recovery tools, but they've all pretty much thrown up their hands and said "I can't help you." (thanks for that concept, Mr. Glander. RIP)

Anyway. Pics and resume and such will be back real soon now.

Every Day

2006-06-01T21:08:00.000-04:00

Dear Citibank:

Thanks so much for the opportunity to apply for a Citi® Platinum Select® / AAdvantage® World MasterCard®. (I'm sorry that I don't have the appropriate character set so that I can put the little superscript eagle in between those two A's.) Let's see what you're offering here . . . a grace period of 20 days? Oooooh. Ummm, that sucks. An APR of 17.74%. Ooooooh. Ummm, that sucks too. Oh, and it's variable. Wow, that's even better. In Opposite Land, maybe. Anyway, I don't usually carry a balance, so I guess it would suck to be you, huh? Hmmm, what else? An annual fee of $85?! Jebus, do people still pay annual fees?

Here's my favorite thing though . . .

Rates, fees, and terms may change. We may change the rates, fees, and terms of your account at any time for any reason.

Wow. Just freakin' WOW. CEO have a headache today? RAISE THE RATES! VP of IT have hemmorhoids? CHARGE A FEE!!

I love the part where you tell me how my AAdvantage® miles could add up with "everyday purchases," and then your examples include a $2000 flat screen TV and $3000 worth of home improvement. Y'all really have a different concept of "everyday" than I do. Just how many TVs do you people have, anyway? I guess that explains the home improvement, though. Eventually you'd have to add on a room or twelve to house them all!

So anyway, thanks again for the offer, but I think I'll pass.

Your pal,
-- Larry Mac --

Somebody Gets It Right

2006-05-05T17:56:00.000-04:00

I flew into Atlanta for a business trip on Wednesday. Of course, I needed a car to get to Columbus, and had put off making the reservation till earlier in the week. After checking the price quotes (and because of recent experience) I decided to skip Hertz; I ended up reserving a car with Enterprise. There was a little line at the counter, but nothing unacceptable. The guy that helped me out was polite and friendly. After dealing with the paperwork, he walked outside with me, where a car had already been pulled up. We both gave it the walk-around check for damage, joked a bit about gas prices, and I was on my way.

The only sad thing about this story is that the experience was unusual enough to rate a blog post.

I Corporate America

2006-04-28T19:51:00.001-04:00

We use Yahoo Messenger at work. A lot. Maybe even too much. But it allows a team of developers to be scattered around the country, if not the globe, and still keep in touch. It's also a huge distraction in meetings when half the people are paying more attention to their laptops and using YM for side conversations, but that's another story.

A lot of people use Yahoo avatars as the display image in the IM windows, but I chose to use a small graphic that I'd gotten from a friend, because I thought it was funny. This is it:

Yesterday in the midst of an IM discussion, I was told by a management type "you'll have to take down your avatar." (First clue he was management - he couldn't tell the difference beween an avatar and an image.) I didn't even bother to ask why, although I was sorely tempted to reply "WTF?"

I suppose a phrase that can be heard on broadcast TV is just too horrible to be seen in a corporate environment.

C'mooooon, Lotto numbers!

More follow-ups

2006-04-18T17:50:00.000-04:00

First the good:

After getting yet another unrequested weekly ad from Tom Leonard's Farmers Market, I sent him an email saying "please stop spamming me." His initial response was rather petulant "I'm sorry you don't like me store." I wanted to drive over there and slap him around and tell him to stop whining, but instead I replied "Hey, I love your store. What I don't like is being asked for comments, having my comment ignored, and being placed on a bulk email list." We then got into a protracted email conversation and ended up with a peaceful resolution. We even (finally) discussed multiple-item pricing, and although it's not going away, and I still don't like it, at least the topic of my original comment card was addressed.

Now, about the overpriced "hardware" store:

Not a single word in response to my letter. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zip. So I'm comfortable in saying that Restoration Hardware does not seem to care about its customers. I'll have to repeat that a few times, and get some friends to link to my page here so that the phrase creeps up in the Google rankings.

On the other hand, I got a perfectly servicable mirror at IKEA the other day for only $19.99, so I saved well over $100 anyway.

It's Just A Jump To The Left

2006-04-17T21:49:00.000-04:00

I got a form letter from my local Nissan dealer the other day.

If you currently drive a 1990 NISSAN, Victory Nissan will issue you a DOWN PAYMENT ASSISTANCE VOUCHER FOR UP TO $2,000 so that you can trade in your car today, even if you thought it was too soon or you thought you owed too much on your vehicle.

Ummm, yeah, Victory Nissan, I think it is too soon to trade in my FIFTEEN AND A HALF YEAR OLD CAR, the one with over 114,000 miles on it! And paying ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for a car payment since I don't know when is too much!!

There are other graphics on the letter that are supposed to make me think that my car is a (if not the) MOST REQUESTED VEHICLE. Uh huh.

Jebus. They didn't really put a lot of thought into screening the mailing list for that letter, did they?

Morons.

Corporation Don't Care

2006-03-06T19:54:00.000-05:00

I used to absolutely love Restoration Hardware. Sure they were over-priced (that's why God invented clearance shelves), but I liked the look of their furniture (even though I never bought any), their assorted bath fixtures, and their basic color palatte. They often had some fun little knick-knacks too, like little alabaster vases, or old-school baking powder powered submarines. Lately however, they seem to be shifting their product mix to wares that are more soft than hard. Lots of sheets and towels and pillows. It seems like nice stuff, but it's not really what I want from Resto.

However, that's not actually what I'm writing about. A couple years ago, I started to slowly make over my master bathroom with both hardware and textiles from Resto. I've accumulated a shower curtain, shower curtain rings, two rugs, too many matching towels, a "train rack" and a towel bar. (Hmm, more textile than hardware even in that list . . . ) I bought some of their paint to use on the walls, and the one final item I wanted to bring it all together was a mirror to match the other hardware. January is usually when they have their bathroom stuff on sale, and in their catalog, they showed a mirror from the "Bistro" line, which I'd selected the other hardware from. Since I had some gift cards to use, I headed right on over to the store. Oddly enough, the display mirror didn't look at all like the one in the catalog. The clerk brought one out from the back and I asked to see what was in the box before paying. Even though the numbers on the box matched the catalog, the mirror inside didn't match the picture.

The people at the store called into the order department for me, but ultimately found out that the if I ordered using the number in the catalog, I wouldn't get the item pictured. That being the case, I thought that I'd go ahead with a slightly different choice, choosing an oval mirror instead of rectangular. Of course that was on back-order; I was told it would ship sometime in February, but I was also given ten percent off for the delay. I figured that was fair enough.

At least I figured that while in the store. I guess I had my buying hat on, and I felt like I needed something. After a day or two though, I realized I wasn't really happy with that choice, and I went to their website, found the inquiry form and tried to ask about the mystery mirror. I waited about a week, and didn't get any response, so I tried again. Nada.

Come February, a new catalog arrived in the mail. Once again, there was my mirror. Interestingly enough, there was no item number this time, it was evidently just a prop in among all the other items. I tried another web inquiry, met with resounding silence yet again. So I looked up the corporate information and fired off a letter to the president of the company. Right after mailing the letter, I got an email telling me that the mirror I had ordered was now not going to be available until April. April! Sure, that's "next month" now, but I had placed the original order in January! The day after getting the backorder notice, I called and cancelled.

Of course I've not received any response to my letter. I know that it will have to find it's way from the corporate office to somebody who is paid to deal with annoying customers like me, but it's been almost a month. I don't expect they're going to actually help me out anyway. I still have a $35 gift certificate to use, but after that, it'll be "So Long, It's Been Good To Know Ya."

Rule #3: Ha, we didn't really mean #1 and #2.

2006-03-05T12:20:00.000-05:00

A couple years ago, I happened to notice a sign along the road that said "Future Location of Tom Leonard's Market." The typeface used looked sort of familiar, and having spent a large chunk of my life in Connecticut, I quickly made the connection to Stew Leonard's. I was interested to see what this market would be like.

I knew that the chain in Connecticut had a reputation for good customer service, and when Tom Leonard's opened, I was pleased to see that there was a giant rock in front of the store, inscribed with the following:

Rule #1 -- The Customer is Always Right
Rule #2 - If the Customer is Ever Wrong, Re-Read Rule #1.

So it turned out to be a decent little market for fresh produce and a couple other things. The fresh mozzarella was superb. I missed having a place like that around when I lived in Georgia for a year. It was one of the first places I went to when I moved back to Virginia.

One little thing bothered me though -- a lot of items are sold at "2 for" prices. e.g. one gallon of milk for $3, but two for $5. I'm a single guy, living with just my cat; I just can't drink two gallons of milk before they'd spoil. Same thing with quarts of strawberries or other perishable items. Very occasionally, I could use that pricing scheme to my advantage, say two avocadoes for $3 instead of $1.69 each, but more often than not, it would be a complete waste of food and money.

I have to imagine that other single people would have similar situations, especially older senior citizens.

Tom has a suggestion box in his store, and a big sign saying:

What do you like?
What don't you like?
I want to hear from you!
Put a note in the box and I'll get right back to you!

So I filled out the form and said that I liked the mozzarella, and that I really disliked the two-for pricing, put my name and email at the bottom of the slip and dropped it in the box. I guess I didn't really expect them to change the policy, but I was curious about how they'd respond.

Well, they responded with an email that said "thanks for your comments, we'll put your email address on our list." OK, so technically I guess that's "getting back to me", but it wasn't much of a response.

You know what, Tom? Tell me that you use that pricing scheme for reason X or reason Y, I don't really care. But do NOT put up a sign implying that you'll respond to a customer's suggestion/inquiry and then just use the system to harvest email addresses.

I replied to that email, basically saying I had expected a real response, not to be added to a spam list. (And yes, it is spam because I was not told my email address would be used for marketing purposes.) I never received any response to that email; I haven't been back to the store, either.

Where I'm Coming From

2006-01-09T10:46:00.000-05:00

I guess if I'm going to have a blog about customer service experiences, I ought to have some kind of disclaimer or something. My purpose is not to be a whiney bitch (well, not always . . . )

When I post about a particular company, I am specifically not stating that the company always treats its customers in a certain way. I am merely relaying my experience at a moment in time. I do think that certain operations have a tendency to worse performance than others, and if that happens to be my opinion, I'm going to mention it. It's also important that I state up front that I know that customers can be assholes. I've worked in retail a few times, and I've seen the bad behavior. I don't claim to be entitled to any special treatment when I'm a customer; but I do think I am entitled to be treated as an individual who is NOT exactly the same as person in front of me or behind me.

Two examples from my recent travels (or is that travails?) -- The Hertz incident: all that I really wanted to do when I first walked up to that counter was have the $50 voucher applied to my rental, then to get into the car that had been reserved for me and drive away. I didn't ask for an upgrade. But somewhere along the line, for some reason, the guy behind the counter wanted to give me one, and that is really where the problems began. As I work toward resolving this issue with Hertz, I will be asking for an upgrade - I want a Jag the next time I fly to Atlanta, and I don't want to pay more than $25/day. We'll see.

On the flip-side of the coin is the guy who was sitting in front of me on my flight into Atlanta. He had to be told during taxi to turn off his cellphone, he turned it back on during descent (!), and he also reclined his seat during descent, after having been told to return it to the "full upright position" by the attendants. I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt and say maybe he didn't know any better, but the evidence is against him. We were both seated in business class, so he either booked that from the get-go, or requested/purchased an upgrade. To me, that indicates experienced traveller. He wasn't the nasty, yelling, complaining kind of customer, but he surely exhibit his sense of entitlement by his actions. And those customers can be the worst.

So that's "where I'm coming from" -- I'm just a guy who wants get what I pay for, with little or no added stress.

You know I don't think I'm going to let you stay in the film business.

2005-04-13T17:32:00.000-04:00

I suppose it's obvious that I haven't been inspired to write anything lately.

It's not that I don't want to, I just am not sure how to proceed. Lots of other people are doing this whole blogging thing better than I am; certainly with more regularity.

So I'm "officially" taking some time off. I guess that's so last year, but we don't move to quickly down here in Columbus, GA.

I'm leaving this stuff here, of course, and maybe I'll be hit with a flash of inspiration again.

I'll probably turn off the comments, but email works.

Kudos to you if you recognize the title.

Say What?

2005-03-14T18:24:00.000-05:00

(Warning, long and potentially boring post below. Enter at your own risk.)

A couple weeks ago, I had some fun writing about my experience with Alex, the voice of the USAirways baggage inquiry system. (I finally received by suitcase sometime between 10 and 12 on that Sunday; it was sitting outside my door when I got back from running some errands.) But my problems with Alex weren't unique to that particular system, and I'm certain I'm not the only one who gets frustrated by such poorly designed systems.

If I get more frustrated than the average consumer, it's because I've been programming interactive voice response (IVR) systems for over ten years. I think I have a handle on what makes one system better than another. And while I've only been working with speech recognition for a little over a year, I believe my experience carries over. I'm pretty good at this kind of programming, at least when using the development system that I've got the most experience with. However, my job is not something I like to tell people about, because almost invariably it goes like this:

Other Person: So what do you do?
Me: I'm a computer programmer.
OP: Oh, what kind of programming?
Me: I work on voice response systems.
OP: What's that?
Me: Well, you know how when you call your bank or credit card company and you have to punch in your account number and all th . . .
OP: [interrupting] Oh, I HATE those things.

I've been hearing that for ten years. It's depressing sometimes.

Two pieces of information from a conference call that I just sat through. 1) the users of the new IVR system I just implemented reported that they are happy that the system in question was touch-tone based (or, as we say in the business, "DTMF only"); they really dislike the speech recognition systems other companies have implemented. And 2) while discussing how to implement a change to allow more users to get further into the system without being forced to an operator, one of the business contacts asked "well, what's easier [to program]?"

So, first of all, why is it that the users hate speech reco so much? I can only guess in this case, but maybe it's because the systems and dialogues were specified (I almost said "designed" but I don't know if that much thought went into it) by people who were not thinking of the users so much as they were thinking of themselves. Too much in-house jargon gets used. Too many assumptions are made about how much the caller does or doesn't know. Too much imitation of what is already out there. I've been in too many planning sessions where people come up with the menus and prompts that sound just like what they heard when they called Company X. Did you like company X's system? Probably not, but there seems to be this mindset that every IVR system should sound like the last one you heard.

Speech Reco looks easy on the surface, and it does provide some capabilities that DTMF does not -- input of letters, of course, or selection from a list that is just too big to read off along with the requisite "press 1 for ..."; e.g. city names, as used within an airline system. (of course my pal Alex didn't seem to do so well with letters or cities.) What is hard about SR, and what usually gets short shrift, is design. Given any specific piece of information being requested from the caller, you have to anticipate any possible response. Even when you are expecting the caller to say "yes" or "no," just on the "yes" side you have to try to allow for: yeah; um, sure; yup; yes ma'am, etc. I don't know that I'd go so far as to program "true dat" (as was suggested to me recently), but maybe "you bet" ought to be in there.

The questions you ask have to have clear options as well. Quick, what would you reply to the following:

Would you like benefits information for: In-Patient Hospital, Outpatient Surgery, Out-Patient Hospital non-surgical, Emergency Room, or Behavioral Health?

Or: Are you a member currently enrolled, a perspective customer who would like more information about this plan or a healthcare provider?

Aside from not knowing what a perspective customer is, I'm saying "operator" to both those prompts. I'm probably saying something else that might be a little rude too, hoping that they might be using a call monitoring system.

Now about the "what's easier" question . . . Arrgghh. During that conference call, I politely mentioned that it shouldn't be a matter of what is easiest, and that in fact all the options being discussed were equally easy, but that it should be a matter of what is best for the callers. This sort of thing happens way to often, I've found -- the concern is on what is easy and/or quick to implement, or worse, what will keep callers from reaching an agent. Yes, nothing says "customer service" like avoiding your customers.

When I first was offered the chance to work on IVR, I was of course well aware of the general public's opinion. I (naively, perhaps) though that I had the chance to make a difference, to program something that people wouldn't hate so much. Unfortunately, corporate America isn't structured that way. No, I'm just the programmer. Other people get to decide what the systems sound like, and how many menus there will be, when it might be OK to transfer a call, etc. It's call center managers who only want to keep the number of incoming calls to a minimum -- zero being the ultimate goal, it seems. Or other management types who've been told how much better speech recognition is, how it will take care of all those people who only have rotary dial phones so they can't interact with DTMF based systems. Yeah, that's the reason people aren't using your IVR systems, they all have rotary phones.

Still, I idealistically soldier on, because I actually do believe that this technology can be used for good, not evil. I know about the cost differential between a call handled by an automated system and one handled by a human. There are many times when I, and I believe others, actually prefer dealing only with an automated system. If the information I want is easy to get to and everything I need to know is provided for me, then sure, I'm all for it. The technology is the easy part, actually. The difficult part is designing the system so that it is useful and useable, for both the customers and the business. I think it takes a combination of marketing, customer service, psychology and technical knowledge to do it well.

In a previous employment situation, I fought hard for the creation of, and finally became part of a committee that reviewed all of the scripting for an IVR system, rewording things as necessary, adding consistency to menu options (e.g. "end this call" was always 9. "return to the main menu" was always 8). We had representatives from marketing and customer service and IT. We studied the usage patterns of the existing system to find out what information people were requesting most often, and rewrote the system to make it easy to get that information with a minimum of key presses. By increasing usage of the system and decreasing average call length, we saved the company, on paper at least, several million dollars per year. I know it can be done right. I just don't know why corporations won't invest the time to do so.

You can sometimes see evidence that they're moving in the right direction. Somebody probably told USAirways that a male voice was more appropriate for their baggage inquiry system for some reason. I'm sure I could locate studies that indicate which gender is preferred for various types of systems. So they got that part right. Why thny did they get everything else so horribly wrong? Why do they start the call with a female voice, and DTMF only? Why do I need to be "introduced" to the disembodied voice on the the other end of the line? If Alex doesn't understand me when I say "PHF," why doesn't he just say so? Instead, he just jumps ahead to "That's OK, I can look it up another way." I could be wrong, but it seemed like I was the one being blamed for the system not understanding me. In fact, as I recall my several conversations with Alex, I don't think he ever said that he didn't understand, he just kept going with what *he* wanted to say. In that way, I guess he was more lifelike than I'd thought; he wasn't listening, he was just waiting to speak.

Perhaps USAirways has valid reasons to keep me from speaking to a real live person, but to completely ignore the fact that somebody would say "operator" or "transfer" or anything similar is just ridiculous. Acknowledge what I've said, tell me that the information that I've been given is the most current information available, something. Anything. Please?

To make matters worse, on each call, Alex encouraged me to use the web, implying that it's so much better. Since I was in a location with no access to the internets when I first called, that wasn't an option (hmm, they believe that millions of people have rotary phones, but also that everybody has an internet connection?), but when I decided to go to the local coffee shop and use the available wi-fi connection, I took the slip of paper that had my claim information on it. I brought up the USAirways website and had to guess where to find the right page for baggage inquiries. Once I found it, I was presented with a form to fill out - name, address, email, claim number. And then another "required" field: flight number. OK, flight number wasn't on the slip of paper I had, Alex had never asked me for the flight number, but all of a sudden, the allegedly better website needs to know? Luckily, I was able to pull up the the confirmation email from Expedia in another browser tab, and I copied and pasted the flight number into the form. Then I clicked on the submit button and all I got was a "thanks for sending your information." That's it? They drive me to the web to use a non-interactive system? Happy Bankruptcy, USAirways. How's that working out for you? At least we know the US in your name doesn't stand for "usability." How much would you like to bet that the web design team and the phone system people never talk to each other?

Anyway, if you meet me in a bar somewhere or something, and ask me what I do, don't hate me when I tell you, OK? I'd love to join some forward thinking corporation and help implement my ideas, but in the meantime, I'm only doing what I'm told. Of course, if you want to offer me a job, that would be cool, too.

Orange Really Is The New Black

2005-03-04T12:27:00.000-05:00

Last weekend I went to New York. The main reason for going was to visit with some friends; when I scheduled the trip I didn't realize that I'd be there during the exhibition of The Gates.

I loved it. I really didn't have any prior relationship with Central Park, so I don't know about "changing my view of the space in relation to blah blah blah blah fishcakes," but I enjoyed the color, the motion, the people. I think the people, especially. I'd thought of the Christo projects that I knew of previously as somewhat aloof. The grand scale of projects such as the Wrapped Reichstag or Surrounded Islands doesn't seem to allow for close-up viewing. The Gates was different. It was all about being there, walking along the paths, reaching up to feel the fabric (it felt like a bad curtain in a cheap hotel). Also, I didn't notice it at first, but my friend R pointed out how many people were wearing clothing to co-ordinate with The Gates.

I've wondered just how many pictures must have been taken over the sixteen days of the exhibition. Thousands, easily. Tens or hundreds of thousands more likely. I took over one hundred in the few hours we were there, and I wasn't even really in full-on photographer mode. And just look at how many people were there

So as much as I think being there was critical to the experience, I'm still going to post a couple more pics, without additional commentary.

Oh yeah, technically the color was described as saffron. So maybe saffron is the new black.

What Goes Around . . .

2005-02-14T20:08:00.000-05:00

I was at the brewpub the other night when one of the guys that works there came up to me out of the blue and said "Try this bacon!" OK, I like bacon, so I tasted it. It was pretty good, cooked nicely, not too limp, not too crisp. "Hey," I said, "that was pretty good."

The pub apparently gives the spent grain from the brewing process to a local farmer, who feeds the pigs with it. The bacon was from one of those pigs.

So, circle of life or something. Only not so much for the pig.

Got Such A Supple Wrist

2005-02-09T18:09:00.000-05:00

I've written before about my love of pinball (scroll down). It hasn't diminished. Before I moved to good ol' Columbus, GA, I did some research and saw glowing reports of an arcade called Diamond Jim's, but there was no trace of it when I got here. A couple weeks ago, before heading out on a day trip to Atlanta, I printed out the address of an arcade so I could play, but sadly I could find no evidence of its existence in the dying Cobb Galleria shopping mall. I also stopped by a place that sells machines, but the sign on the door said "out on a service call" and I didn't have time to wait around. Damn, this is beginning to sound like a metaphor for my sex life -- lots of potential but no actual contact.

Well, not quite. Last Friday, there was a work-sponsored bowling party, and I discovered that the bowling alley has a pretty nice Star Wars: Episode 1 (warning: sound at that link) machine. I still mourn the fact that the Pinball 2000 concept didn't take off and that Williams gave up. I played several dollars worth of games on that machine on Friday, and then I went back on Saturday to play some more. My forearms were sore on Sunday. There's also a Stern Monopoly game there. I think I'll have to check it out this weekend.

At least I know I'll be getting some silver ball action up in NYC in a couple weeks. Maybe I'll get some other action too.

P.S. I love the "basics" information at the pinball.com site:
PINBALL BASICS:

* Put in money and press start.
* Begin the game by pulling the plunger back and quickly releasing it.
* Use the buttons on either side of the game to control the flippers.

Live Strong

2005-02-02T22:22:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure why this has become a question all of a sudden in the last few days, but let's get this resolved.

It's a LiveStrong wristband. I bought it from the Lance Armstrong Foundation. All the proceeds from the sales go to support the Lance Armstrong Foundation's efforts to "help people with cancer and their family members live strong." More information is available at the laf.org website as linked.

I started wearing my wristband last summer, because I had been impressed by Lance Armstrong's personal story, and I received a wristband as a gift from a friend. My first band broke, probably from being being put on and taken off of my fat wrists, so I ended up buying a package of ten from the above-linked website.

Since that time, I've learned that a close friend is living with cancer and when I wear my wristband, I try to think about him and what he is dealing with every day of his life. (This is for you, Domo...)

I'm not impressed with everybody and his uncle having co-opted the wristband concept. I'm especially not impressed by places like 7-11 that will sell you a "Support Our Troops" wristband for $2.95 and only use $1 of the price to actually support our troops.

Hey, I have a reason for wearing my wristband. If you'd rather hold me in contempt, then I guess that's your prerogative. But I think you're wrong.

B-B-B-Blog Talkin'

2005-01-29T21:32:00.000-05:00

Back Tracking

OK, I was wrong about the rental car. Not only can it play a CD, it has a CD changer. It's hidden in the console though. Not where I was looking at 12:30 AM. It also has an automatic rearview mirror that magically shifts if/when there are headlights fixin' to blind you from behind, and adjustable brake and accelerator pedals. Sorry, Hertz.

Bag Tracking

So I can redirect my wrath to USAirways. I figured that my suitcase would be on the first flight out of Charlotte this morning and be here by noon, maybe two o'clock at the latest. But every time I call to check, their overly cheerful automated system tells me that they haven't located my bag yet.

Back Talking

I'm afraid I lost my patience with "Alex," the pre-recorded voice and personality of the US Airways baggage claim system. I'm pretty sure they got him from the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. When you first dial in to their system, there is a female voice that asks a couple pre-screening questions, and it's all touchtone input. Then all of a sudden, you hear "Hi! I'm Alex, your baggage specialist!" (Yes, you can actually hear the exclamation points in his voice). He wants to know when I first filed the report. According to the slip of paper I was given it was 12:03AM, so it's hard to know whether to say "today" or "yesterday." Then he wants to know where I filed the report. I've told him both "Newport News" and "PHF" but he doesn't seem to understand. "That's OK, I can search for your information another way!" He wants to know the number on my baggage claim ticket. I read off the number and he repeats it back to me to make sure he's got it. I confirm that he did indeed hear me correctly, and he seems delighted to tell me he's found my records. But I think he's just a bit too happy to tell me that they haven't located my bag, but that I can go ahead and call back later! Gee thanks, Alex, I never would have thought of that.

I ask for an operator. He pretends to not understand me. I can see that our relationship is not as solid as I thought it was. I keep saying "operator" or "human" or "real person." I think that last one must have hurt his feelings. But I'm onto his little game. I wanted us to be friends, but if he's going to just ignore what I have to say, then maybe he's not the kind of guy I need right now. He started to tell me that I'd have to call another time.

"Fuck off, Alex," I said, and then I hung up on him before he had a chance to do it first.

I really hate co-dependent relationships, but I realize that Alex is the only one who can help me locate my suitcase. I gave it a couple hours so that we could both calm down a bit. When I called back later, he didn't seem to remember me. OK, so that's the way he wants to play it. Fine. After answering his questions again, he gives me the same information (or lack thereof), and I say "You suck, Alex."

I haven't called back, but he hasn't called me either. I guess I'm going to have to be the one to swallow my pride again and make the next move.

But I'm not going to apologize.

current music

Guster - Amsterdam

Hertz Invites You To Party Like It's 1999

2005-01-29T11:27:00.000-05:00

The airport was crowded, there were delays and cancellations posted everywhere, even for the next day. Pre-emptive cancellation, gotta love it! A winter storm was going to hit the southeast and it sounded nasty. The "aircraft making up [my] flight" was late arriving in Atlanta, but they decided not to post a delay because "it will only be five or six minutes."

Yeah, well. We pushed back from the gate about forty minutes late, and arrived in Charlotte late by about the same amount. The flight attendant had announced our arrival gate and I knew my departure gate, and a quick check of the in-flight magazine showed that I'd have to get from the very end of the E concourse to the beginning of the D concourse -- really not that bad, and from what I was hearing in the seats around me, I had a little more time than others to make my connection. I was near the rear of my "aircraft," so I just waited my turn to de-plane (as if there was a choice) and then speed-walked my way to my connection. I was a little out of breath, but I got there with at least fifteen minutes to spare. We sat on the tarmac for a bit more than that before they actually closed the door and pushed back. (I'm not sure quite how long, because I was in the midst of devouring Comfort And Joy. I love everything I've read by Jim Grimsley. But anyway.)

We managed to arrive in Newport News no more than eight to ten minutes late. I'd never flown into or out of there before, and I'd chosen it as my destination simply because it was at least $200 cheaper than flying into Richmond. It's only 70 miles away, so the extra driving time seemed worthwhile. I found the baggage claim area, and since no bags were available, I took care of the car rental and then returned to the carousel. I waited. And waited. No suitcase.

Well, OK, the connection in Charlotte was close. Although, I managed to make it, and I didn't even have a neat little tram to drive like the baggage handler get. Still, my bag wasn't there, so off I went to the USAirways counter to file my claim. "No biggie," I thought, "it will be on the morning flight, they'll deliver it, annoying but not the end of the world." Besides, the guy who took my claim was kinda cute.

By this time, it was after midnight. I stepped outside into the frigid night air and located my rental car. I found my way to the interstate and headed west. I tried listening to the radio for awhile, but soon remembered that I was heading toward central Virginia, where the whole radio spectrum both sucks and blows. I knew that I had a couple CDs in the backpack that had been my carry-on, but initially I didn't want to fumble through that while driving. Then the radio station I'd landed on started to play Journey. It was time to get serious.

I unzipped the bag and managed to pull out a CD that was in a pocket near the top (Explorer, just out on Lost Language, by Tilt). I opened the case, pulled out the disc and tried to insert it into the dash. I figured the slot was over there by the pretty lights somewhere. I tried above the display, then below, then .... WHAT?

A cassette deck?

Obnoxious Twit Throws Parties, Thousands Die

2005-01-21T20:14:00.000-05:00

According to CNN, private donations were the primary source of funding for the lavish and outlandish parties thrown for yesterday's coronation, errrr inauguration. This, by an incumbent president. During wartime. Costs to exceed forty million dollars.

In addition, the District of Columbia has to cough up over $17 million to handle security, and one day of shutting down federal government operations in and around the capital will cost taxpayers $66 million.

The apologists insist that the $40 million is private money, so it's not fair to make the comparison to how many armored humvees that money would buy. Oh, and the obnoxious twit thanked some invited servicemen and women at one of his parties. Did he thank the ones who are dead or so badly maimed that they couldn't attend his little soirée? No, but he sure as hell made sure that the nearly 4000 guys in the Third Infantry Third Brigade left Fort Benning over the last week. How many of those soldiers, some of them my friends and neighbors, won't make it back?

OK, so it was "private money." Fine. According to the CNN article above, "Among the dozens of $250,000 donors are Home Depot, Bank of America Corp., Bristol-Myers Squibb and Ford Motor Co."

Got it. I'll never set foot in Home Depot again. I won't bank at BoA. I wasn't ever planning on buying another Ford product anyway, given the dismal history of my '93 Ranger, and I use the store brand of pain relievers, so no Bufferin or Excedrin for me.

As soon as I can find a more complete list of the corporate whores, I'll try to post it. And I'm going to be sure to let those companies know why they've lost a customer.

Letter #2

2005-01-14T18:47:00.000-05:00

Dear American Express:

Thank you for your repeated offers of a platinum American Express card. I'm not interested in one at all, certainly not at an annual membership charge of $395, but it's nice to know that you think so highly of me.

I'm curious though as to why you think that bombarding me with these offers every month is a useful marketing tactic. Mostly it's annoying, and I can't help but think that that the annual fee could be dropped down to, oh say, $350, if you weren't spending so much money on fruitless solicitations.

One would like to think that carrying a platinum card conveys a certain type of class, yet what your continued come-ons remind me more of a young child saying "does this bug you? does this bug you? I'm not touching you. Does this bug you?" Probably not the image you are trying to project.

I'll tell you what . . . I'm a fairly intelligent guy, and I would probably, as you say, find that the highly individualized services and benefits of the platinum card are well suited to my needs. So if I should ever change my mind and decide I want a platinum card, I'll be sure to let you know. I've got your number right here, and I know your website address. In the meantime, why don't you just go ahead and assume that I'm not interested and save us both some time.

Your pal,
Larry Mac
Member Since 1980!

Dichotomy

2005-01-11T13:33:00.000-05:00

Living in a military town continues to vex me. Over the course of the few months that I've been here, I managed to meet and become friends with A, who is, I guess, not your typical soldier. For one thing, he's 40 years old. We bonded over trivia and a love of 80's music. Oh, and that one night when we got stinking drunk on straight gin. He is, however, part of the Third Infantry's Third Brigade, which means that he's about to be deployed to Iraq for "at least" a year. I've known about this for quite some time, but now it's imminent, and I don't like it. Not that there's a lot I can do about it. At least he and a couple of his co-workers that I've met will have copies of In Me Own Words to keep them entertained.

Last Friday, A and the woman he's dating had a small get-together for a few friends. There were a couple soldiers there and a few civilians. At one point, one of the civilian guys started talking with some of the soon-to-be-deployed soldiers and started making sarcastic comments like "oh, pardon us, we're just trying to rebuild your roads," and "geez, you have electricity now, what more do you want?" I figured it was best to keep quiet - considering the crowd - but ummmmm, isn't all that rebuilding necessary because we invaded a sovereign nation and blew all that stuff up in the first place?

So here I am, trying to rectify my desire to support the soldiers (who are, for the most part, just doing their jobs) with my complete opposition to the war itself.

current music

more XM Café

Sucks to be them

2005-01-10T17:22:00.000-05:00

Dear American Express:

I would have thought it was obvious, but I'll go on record now and say it directly -- I do not want an Oreck vacuum cleaner. I know you must find that hard to believe, but really, my lack of response to your seemingly weekly mailings should have tipped you off. It's been years, I'm sure, and yet I find that I still have absolutely no interest at all in an Oreck. I know, I know, you'll even send me the hand held unit. The thing is, I don't have all that many occasions when I need to pick up a stray bowling ball. OK, perhaps after that one wild party, sure, but there were only a few. I don't think the bowling alley even noticed they were missing. We managed to return them all within a couple weeks anyway. Almost all of them, anyway.

So yeah, please cease and desist with the onslaught of vacuum ads.

Your customer,
Larry Mac -- Member since 1980!

current music

I'm digging whatever is on my XM Radio, channel 45...

I am not Chewbacca

2004-12-30T13:24:00.000-05:00

That is the opening line of In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot, by Graham Roumieu.* It is simply the funniest book, ever. Period. Caitlin first showed it to me over a year ago. She said it was the number one seller at Fountain Bookstore in 2003 - I'm sure helped along by some enthusiastic recommendations from the staff.

One of my favorite things that happens when I show the book to people is that I get to hear each person's "Bigfoot voice." Turns out that everybody has one, and you just can't help using it when you start to read the sad story of Denis ("Him here for good time, not for long time.") or Craig ("You shitty cat!")

I love the sheer absurdity of the stories, the fabulous illustrations, and the fact that every time I pick it up, I still notice something that I hadn't seen before. I like this book so much that this year, I have given copies to six people, just to spread the Bigfoot love.

Soon, I plan to have an army of Bigfoot fans throughout the land. We will recognize each other by the use of key phrases that only the enlightened will recognize.

Yes I be talking to you Steve!

*Yes, that is an Amazon link, but if you're going to buy this book, you should check with your local independent bookseller. Or, if you want to get it from Amazon, at least use my link so I get credit.

current music

Brand X - XCommunication

Sorrow

2004-12-28T17:16:00.000-05:00

I've been rather purposefully avoiding writing anything about the tsunami. What on earth could I write? I'm just devastated by every piece of news that I read, by the death toll that keeps climbing, by the sheer enormity of the impact. I have a very close friend who was in Thailand last summer, in the area that got hit. What if this had happened then? I used to work with a guy from Sri Lanka who might have lost friends and family. I don't even know how to find out. I know for sure of a friend of a friend of a friend who is missing. I am not a religious person, but I will "pray" in my own way, for everybody who has been affected by this tragedy.

Homeless

2004-12-01T21:55:00.000-05:00

Having a cat means you're never really talking to yourself. Or at least you can make it seem that way. I say goodbye to Toast when I leave for work in the morning ("See you later, Buddy, be good!"), and say hello to him when I get home ("Hey Peanut, I'm home!"). (No, I don't use his given name very often. Wanna make something of it?) Even when he's hiding away in one of his favorite napping spots, I can tell he's around. Of course on those occassions when he decides to get up on the bed with me, I can really feel his presence. He seems to absorb sunlight during the day and turn it into gravity at night.

Last Wednesday, I went home after work and went almost immediately to bed. I had plans to be in Richmond on Thursday, but there was just no way I was going to begin that drive at 5:00 PM on Thanksgiving Eve, which would have put me in Atlanta traffic at 7:00. So instead, I napped until about midnight, then got up and finished packing, loaded the truck, took a quick wake-up shower, and got on the road at about 1:30 AM. My traffic avoidance plan was mostly successful. Coffee and water kept me going for the most part. Some heavy rain at around 6:00 AM made me concentrate very hard on seeing the road. The number of cars picked up a bit after I passed Durham, NC and there were lots of stupid people between South Hill and Petersburg, VA. I arrived at my house in greater Richmond at just about 11:30 AM.

When you've lived in one place for nearly nine years, some things become quite automatic. So when I opened the door, I fully expected to see Toast pop his head around the corner so I could say hi to him. Of course, that didn't happen. He was holding down the fort back in Columbus. When I accepted the job down there, I always told myself it was a one year thing, barring some major change that made it appropriate for me to stay. After nearly six months, that hasn't happened. Between the major moving company fuck-ups (have I mentioned lately that Graebel SUCKS?), the work schedule from hell over the summer, the fact that I expect to see David Lynch and a camera crew around here filming Blue Velvet II . . . Columbus has just never felt like home.

And now, neither did the house in Virginia. It looked like the same old place, but there was a big hole where a cat should have been. Without that fourteen pound ball of fur making his presence known, it was just another house.

So I unloaded some stuff from the truck, fumbled around a bit and decided to sleep first, make macaroni and cheese later. I dozed for awhile, fitfully, and eventually got up before the alarm I'd set. I made the mac & cheese to take with me to dinner and headed out.

The Thanksgiving feast at Caitlin's was a blast. We played Yahtzee and Cranium and Uno, had turkey and all the trimmings, consumed a beverage or two. I got a lot of phone calls - and got plenty of ribbing for being "so LA" - but I just had a really good day.

When I got back later that evening, I opened the door and called out "hey Peanut, I'm h- . . . "

Béchamel. Béchamel Mucho.

2004-12-01T17:18:00.000-05:00

I have another post in progress, but the words aren't coming, so I'll waste some time by posting Larry Mac's Mac & Cheese "recipe."

Boil macaroni till just shy of al dente. Drain and set aside.
Make a basic white sauce. You will need enough to coat the macaroni, but not too much.
Add cheese. Perhaps some grated cheddar.
Add cheese. Oh, and swiss can be good.
Add cheese. How about some colby?
Add cheese. Mozzarella is yummy.
Add cheese. Even some parmesan, romano, asiago . . . it's all good.
Pour it all into a baking dish.
Sprinkle with bread crumbs, not a lot, and maybe some more cheese.
Bake for awhile at 350.
Broil briefly so top gets crunchy bits.

Serves however many you want it to. Make sure there's a bottle of Texas Pete on the table.

Orange Is The New Black

2004-11-29T21:37:00.000-05:00

You heard it here first. Trust me on this.

Captain Nice Guy

2004-11-15T19:16:00.000-05:00

I noticed that one of the reasons that K and J and I got along so well this past weekend is that we're all disgustingly polite. And not really in a bad way. There's really nothing wrong with treating other people with respect.

Anyway, when we get up on Sunday, it was rainy and gray. Which, you know, is cool. "No rain, no rainbows" as the t-shirts all say. We went to eat some pho, then went to see The Incredibles (six thumbs up) and then decided to go see the western part of the island. We ate some really awesome cheeseburgers and fries at this place - , spelunked around in a cave, and then did a little beachcombing.

All too soon it was time to head back to K's place so I could reboot and get ready to leave. I didn't cry. At least not then.

When I boarded the plane in Honolulu, they were handing out "little blue bags" which evidently contained a snack. I was seated in an exit row right at the entrance so I could hear the flight attendants talking about all kinds of stuff. And first I heard them saying they were out of blue bags. Thinking back to that Tastee Freez cheeseburger, and looking forward to actually sleeping on the way to LA, I gallantly offered up my snack.

Moments later, one of them was lamenting the lack of blankets, so I reached behind me and handed the blanket over.

Unfortunately, these acts did not result in an instant upgrade to First Class.

Perhaps I need to do these things more selflessly?

current music

Way Out West - Intensify

I'll take "Phrases you don't want to hear from the seat in front of you in coach" for $200 please, Alex

2004-11-11T13:50:00.000-05:00

What is "Oh! You just press this button and push back really hard!

Normally reticent and non-confrontational me had to speak up and nip that one in the bud.

My Aircraft Is Broken

2004-11-11T11:31:00.000-05:00

As I type this, I am supposed to be on my way to Honolulu. I made sure I got to the airport really early in hopes of getting on the upgrade list. Even at $250, it would be worth if for a nine hour forty minute flight. I guess there were already plenty of people who'd booked first class to begin with, or people with a lot more frequent flier miles than I do. Oh well. At least I'm going to Hawaii. Again. Third time this year.

Anyway, about ten minutes before the scheduled boarding time, they decided to let us know that there was a maintenance issue and there'd be a delay. The gate agent asked that we all stay in the area because there was a question of whethere we'd be using the same plane or getting a new one and possibly going to another gate. I would have stayed, but sometimes that airport coffee goes right through me . . . It only took me a minute to run to the men's room, but by the time I got back, they'd posted a new departure time of 1:15 (originally supposed to be 11:50) and determined that we'd be staying at the same gate.

So here I am, in an airport bar, drinking overpriced beer and eating a horrible cheeseburger. I can deal with that. But now I'm not going to get to Honolulu until 6:00 PM. And that's cutting into my already short weekend. To that, I can only say to Delta Airlines:

Oh my god, I hate you!

Partial Restoration

2004-11-08T17:47:00.000-05:00

My domain has come back, but I'm going to have to reload and/or recreate most of the files. Please stand by.

Beers, Strippers, and Eggs. Drinks and Bratwurst.

2004-11-06T21:25:00.000-05:00

A little explanation of the post and pictures below. Several weeks ago, Caitlin told me she'd be flying down to Atlanta this weekend to meet up with some bloggers. She came down a day early and caught a shuttle down to Columbus. In the course of showing here around, I went to several new places in town and managed to see the place with new eyes.

On Friday, I drove us back up to Atlanta and after a couple minor miscues, we met up with the other folks at a midtown restaurant for drinks and dinner. We then proceeded to another bar where more beers were consumed. This was followed by a visit to the Claremont Lounge. Because why wouldn't a bunch of intoxicated people go to see some of the oldest (and oddest) strippers in Atlanta? It was an experience.

Finally, we went to a diner for some classic post drinking breakfast food, returning to our hotel at 3:15 AM.

We then reconvened this afternoon at CW's house and resumed the party.

As with Blogjam a couple weeks ago, meeting people whose writings you've read is interesting. I've added links to everybody's blogs over on the right.

Blog-o-rama

2004-11-06T18:17:00.000-05:00

[Nov 16, 2004: I had to remove the picture links, they were saturating my bandwidth. I'll restore them if I can figure out what was causing that]

One counter full of booze.

One roomful of bloggers.

Hilarity is sure to ensue.

Amend This

2004-11-03T23:23:00.000-05:00

Dear Citizens of Georgia, and the other ten states where it you felt it necessary to pass resolutions calling for amendments defining marriage:

Let's us ignore, for the moment, whether or not religious concepts have a place in government in the United States.

Instead, let me tell you about myself. I am a homosexual. I always have been, and there's really no way that's going to change. My sexuality does not define my life, it is just a part of who I am. At this time, I do not have anybody special in my life. I have my family, I have many friends - male, female, heterosexual, homosexual, white, black, Asian, American, European, tall, short, slender, chubby, etc - and they all seem to like me, in fact many of them might even say they love me. And I like and love them. I'd also like to have a romantic love interest, and I expect that one day soon, I will. Why does that bother you?

Would you quote scripture to condemn me? I don't recommend that, it will only backfire. Certainly don't be foolish enough to use the Old Testament, wherein we also have these gems, as quoted by Congressman Jim McDermott on February 25, 2004 (available on page H596 of the Congressional Record):

- Marriage shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. That is from Genesis 29:17-28.

- Secondly, marriage shall not impede man’s right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. That is II Samuel 5:13 and II Chronicles 11:21.

- A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. That is Deuteronomy 22:13.

But as I said at the outset, let's leave religion out of this for now.

Can I ask instead that for just a few minutes that you concentrate not on what gay people might do in their bedrooms, but what they do in their kitchens, their living rooms, their gardens, the supermarket, your banks, your insurance companies, the airlines you fly, the restaurants you eat at? We are you neighbors, your co-workers, your family. We cook, we watch TV, we pull up weeds, we compare prices. We take your deposits, process your claims, show you where the emergency exits are and serve your dinner. Above all, we are human.

Did you see or read any of the news accounts about the couples who were able to marry in San Francisco, Portland, or Massachusetts? Couples who had been together for ten, twelve, TWENTY FIVE years! From the report of a marriage in Oregon: "'At least we can say we were married,' they said, grinning." It's about LOVE. People who love each other, and have spent huge portions of their lives together, being able to express their love.

So tell me, Citizens of Georgia and the other ten states. How does this "threaten" you? What exactly is wrong with two people who love each other wanting to spend their lives together and have it recognized as a legitimate union? Is there something that Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez are doing to uphold the "sanctity of marriage" that I'm just not getting?

And now I'll bring religion back into it. I am willing to let you have the word "marriage." Define it however you want to, for the purposes of your religion. Leave the government out of it. This is where you've gone too far. Not only do many of the resolutions passed on Tuesday attempt to define marriage, but they also seek to prevent the government from recognizing any union or even legal partnership between people of the same gender. You want to write intolerance and discrimination into the law of the land. You want to say it's OK to hate some people, just because of who those people love. You want to condemn me just for being different.

The God I believe in is a loving God. The God I believe in made me in His own image. What God is it that you worship that compels you to legislate hate? I hope you are ready to answer to Him when the time comes.

Quick Note

2004-11-03T21:52:00.000-05:00

I guess there's a bit of a problem at the place that hosts my website, so no larrymac.org links work right now. Sorry.

New Map

2004-11-03T18:21:00.000-05:00

Heh.

And Dog-Gone It, People Like Me

2004-11-03T13:39:00.000-05:00

I don't want to think about the dreadful election results. Not only the outcome for the White House, but the distressing number of anti-gay amendment proposals. Just keep your religion off me, you goddamned dirty apes.

Instead, I'm going to think about how good I feel whenever I get a haircut at Cooper's Uptown Salon. Tammy is fun to talk to and as she gets to know my hair and my preferences, each cut looks better than the last. She did a number of my eyebrows today too, exorcising the ghost of Frida from my brow.

I'm also feeling better about fitness. I did a 20 mile bike ride on Sunday, and on Monday I joined the local YMCA. It's a rickety old building, with a maze of stairwells and hallways to navigate. The free weights are in the basement and are well-used, but hey, they're weights, they don't wear out, right? I've also been eating better, avoiding the vending machine at work, for therein lies evil (primarily in the guise of Herr's Salt and Pepper potato chips. Get the behind me!).

I met some nice new local people on Saturday night as well, in conjunction with going to see Bea Arthur at the RiverCenter.

So hey, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough . . .

Voting

2004-11-02T17:17:00.000-05:00

Try as I might, I couldn't locate the postcard I'd gotten that told me where to go vote. I tried using an online resource, but it didn't have the information from my county. What it did have was a phone number to the local elections office, so I went old-school and called to ask where my polling place was. Turns out it is exactly seven blocks from my office.

Once I had that information, and not knowing what the turnout might be like, I thought that walking on up at 3PM was probably better than waiting until after work. I headed on up and had no wait to speak of. Interestingly enough, several of the more local contests had people running unopposed, and in most of those cases, the single candidate was a Democrat. There were a couple exceptions; if the only candidate for an office was a Republican, I abstained. All the information I've seen calls Georgia solidly red, so it was good to see locally there seems to be a Democrat slant. It would be nice to see that carry over to the national side, but I'm not holding my breath.

Of course there was a question about amending the state constitution to define marriage as only between a man and a woman. Stupid religious fucks.

In any event, I did my civic duty and let my voice be heard.

Score one for the good guys

2004-11-01T13:35:00.000-05:00

In the past I've written about some pretty bad customer service experiences, so it's only fair that I write about a good one. I've been wearing Oakley sunglasses for a long time. I've owned several pairs of Frogskins, both the old style and the newer style, and currently I can be seen sporting Half Jackets. Aside from attempting to look stylish, I found that by spending big bucks on sunglasses, I was less likely to mistreat them.

Thus, it was with some distress that I discovered about a month ago that I'd misplaced the microfiber bag that Oakley supplies with each pair of its glasses, and into which I'd carefully place my Half Jackets when they weren't on my head. When I visited Richmond a couple weeks ago, I had a chance to stop in at the O Store. I hoped they'd have a replacement bag available for purchase. They had the bag alright, but not only did they just give it to me, the nice guy took the time to thoroughly clean my lenses too. (I probably shouldn't mention that he also showed me that I had the lenses installed incorrectly. Oops.)

So there you go. They could easily have charged me five bucks or so for the bag, but they didn't. And therefore Oakley remains on my "preferred vendor" list.

No walking outside. There's bears!

2004-10-29T20:02:00.000-04:00

It just dawned on me that it's almost been a year since I went to Manitoba to see the polar bears. Without a doubt, one of the absolute best vacations I've ever taken.

There's the picture links over on the right, of course, and here is a video (Evil MS Mediaplayer 9 required, has sound, etc etc) that I shot on the very first night.

There really are no words to describe the feeling of seeing these gorgeous creatures up close. I wish I could be there again, but there are so many other places to be.

Oh yeah, go here to link to the live Polar Bear Cam.

Sparkly

2004-10-28T21:35:00.000-04:00

I figured if I was gonna try to blog more regularly, it was time for a shiny new template and all.

Also, here's yet another quick observation about Blogjam that I jotted down the other night but forgot to write about: Meeting people whose blog's you read is like meeting your favorite radio DJs. Well, back before CheapChannel ruined radio and all that. Just that people sometimes aren't what you pictured in your head, but after you've met them, they're exactly right. Does that make sense? Arghh, not thinking clearly enough. Maybe I'll revisit this idea tomorrow.

current music

Alison Moyet - Invisible courtesy of Waremouse. Thank you, sir.

Ten

2004-10-28T17:27:00.000-04:00

In the tradition of bloggers far and wide, I now present Ten Random things about me:

When I was little, I always said I wanted to be a doctor. Then I discovered computers.
I don't eat much fruit, but I'm trying to expand my palate.
I've never gotten a speeding ticket.
I wish I could play hockey better.
I hate talking on the telephone.
I have an older sister and a younger brother.
Although I'd like to think my music collection is varied, I probably listen to Depeche Mode more than anything else.
I'm a pack rat.
I despise religions of all stripes, but I'm very spiritual.
I have been to thirty three of the United States (not counting airport layovers or just driving through).

current music

Seal - Killer - William Orbit Mix hmmm, well sometimes it's not DM after all.

Rattling around

2004-10-26T13:28:00.000-04:00

Scared for the future

At the end of the trivia festivities last night, I dared to tell a political joke. Just a little riddle, actually. What is the difference between Iraq and Viet Nam? George W. Bush had a plan for getting out of Viet Nam. Kinda daring of me, I suppose, living in a military town and all that. One young woman rushed up to the bar and incredulously asked "Did he just dis the president?" And then I guess she called me an asshole. I missed most of it, actually, I was disconnecting the microphone and all that.

But honestly, I am scared to realize that there are people who believe that you can't even joke about the guy. How did we get to this place in the United States? The ironic thing is that I'm sure these same people have no trouble telling Bill Clinton blowjob jokes.

Another day the music died

This morning, I was saddened to read of the death of British DJ John Peel. Back in the very early 1980's, he played a huge role in my discovery of new and interesting music. Somewhere on the radio I'd heard some programs that he recorded introducing new music, and I found records (you know "LPs") of some of those shows at some random record store in Kenmore Square, Boston. Of course in later years there were also the many many Peel Sessions CDs -- New Order, The Smiths, ..... He always seemed aware of what was coming up next and he brought it to the attention of so many people. And of course he had the soothing voice with the British accent.

It is moving to read the many tributes on the BBC site, and I'll just add my own right here -- Thank you Mr. Peel, for making a difference in my life, and for sharing your passion with so many people.

current music

The Chameleons - A Person Isn't Safe Anywhere These Days

More about Blogjam

2004-10-25T17:40:00.000-04:00

More about Blogjam

BlogJam is Made of People!

Bloggers are tall and short and skinny and beefy and just regular guys. The readings were as varied as the bloggers. Waremouse's piece was touching, Dogpoet's lyrical, Chrisafer's funny.

I learned too that bloggers, even "famous" bloggers who get several orders of magnitude more readership than I do, can be nervous about public speaking. This should not have been such a revelation to me, for blogging is ultimately a solo sport. The writing and publishing are done in private. Even though some of these guys choose to reveal so much of themselves publicly, I think the nature of the media provides a level of detachment. To go on stage for some of them was clearly a cause for some anxiety -- I saw the pacing going on. Everybody did a great job though.

Like I wrote last night, I feel obligated now to put more effort into my own little place now. My life experiences are not nearly as exciting, and I'm not the writer that those guys are, but I'll see what I can do.

The Sully Report

So I actually exchanged words with Andrew Sullivan and didn't even know it. The club did not open the doors until 8:00 PM and he was trapped outside with all of us plain folk. He asked if he couldn't get in if he was a participant and I said "sure, if you can get in touch with somebody." I just didn't realize who it was I'd said that to till later in the evening. When it was his turn to read, he was greeted by a smattering of hisses. I figured I'd at least hear him out. He played it safe, IMHO, choosing to read two pieces on gay marriage and his sense of betrayal by his beloved W. I actually expected more. This was the fearsome Sully? OK, whatever.

Speaking of Public Speaking

One thing I have surprised myself with lately is my own ability to appear in public in front of a bunch of strangers. It will be happening tonight as I end up once again being solo emcee for trivia night at the Cannon. I think when the management asked Andy to run the game, I was just an add-on that they perhaps hadn't expected. And now, with his soldiering duties once again getting in the way, I'm on the line again. I'm feeling a lot of pressure, primarily self-imposed, to do a really good job. I keep telling Andy he needs to quit that job, but I guess that's not really an option.

First Post?

2004-10-24T23:00:00.000-04:00

Just in from BlogJam DC

I just flew in from Blogjam and boy are my arms tired.

Am I the first to post about it? It was a great evening, despite the late start given to us by the club. I got to meet Joe in person, and I'm here to report that his stories are as great when presented live as they are when read online. He's also a really good hugger.

The other readings were all great and I plan on writing a bit more over the next day or two. In fact, since Joe introduced me to several people as Larry, "who writes Bent Blog," I feel that I have been shamed into being a lot more attentive to the blog than I have been.

I have to catch flight at 6:05 in the morning, and although the airport is almost literally a stone's throw from where I'm staying, I still have to get gas in the rental car and all that, so I really shouldn't stay up writing tonight. A couple quick notes right now though . . . I got a "formal" introduction to Bob Mould, who organized tonight's event. At the end of the evening, I finally took a moment to pull him aside and say "Thanks, this was a great idea. Also Workbook changed my life; thanks for all the great music over the years. OK, fanboy moment over."

Also, one of the more poignant readings was from Dogpoet, who is completely adorable. Smart and cute, who could ask for more?

Further updates tomorrow.

current music

Bob Mould - Modulate.

Fight! Skate!

2004-10-14T20:52:00.000-04:00

A couple entries ago (and many weeks ago, yeah I've been a slacker, whatever, sue me) I mentioned by drinking buddy Andy and playing bar trivia with him. Still haven't given him the big heads up, but we're getting along OK. He hasn't said anything blatantly stupid recently either.

Anyway, in a strange twist of fate, we've gone from being trivia players to trivia emcees. The guy who was doing it had a scheduling conflict and the owner of the bar asked us to fill in. We thought it was going to be a one time thing, but I guess it's going to be a regular gig. Let me tell you, making up the questions and ranking them by point value is a whole heck of a lot harder than just sitting at the bar playing.

We've done it twice now. Well, we've collaborated on the questions and rankings twice. This past Monday, he had to go do soldier stuff, so I was left to be on stage by myself. (see reference to innate shyness in previous post).

We try to make our questions a little out of the ordinary -- like "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" It's got a real answer, if you've seen the South Park Movie anyway. I'm dying to use "PC Load Letter? WTF does that mean?" but that might have to wait.

Also on tap for an upcoming game is "Name one of the bands fronted by Bob Mould."

The other night after the game, one of the players complained to me that there were "too many pop culture questions." Ummm, hello? Bar trivia? Dumbass.

current music

Pete Burns - Jack and Jill Party - Extened (thanks Joe!)

2004-10-14T19:59:00.000-04:00

You Have To Ride The Elephant

Several years ago, I lived in the nice little town of Coventry, CT. At that time it was still mostly rural, although I'd have to guess that by now it has become more of a third ring suburb for Hartford. One particular summer, a small circus came through town, stopping for just one night. It was encamped at a field near the high school, just a short walk from my house, so I headed up to see what was going on.

I don't recall there being much to it -- a single tent, a tiny midway, and the one thing that really caught my eye, an elephant ride. One medium size elephant and the chance to ride around in a circle for a minute or two. Seemed like it might be fun to do, but for some reason, I decided to wait. I figured I could go ahead and get my ride afer watching the main show. So I went into the tent and watched the different act.

Of course, when I came out of the tent, the elephant was not there. No ride for me. I couldn't go back the next day; like I said it was just a one night visit. That little circus never came back to town, either. There might even be other places and times that I could have the chance once again to ride on an elephant, but I don't recall them. I'd probably need a bigger elephant these days anyway.

In any case, ever since then, I try to avail myself of opportunities as soon as they arise. This is my "You have to ride the elephant when it's there" philosophy. Sometimes my innate shyness overcomes the elephant, but I try to remember that night.

[N.B. I'm sure there are all sorts of reasons why the circus was bad, and the poor little elephant was being treated badly, and blah blah fishcakes. That's not the topic.]

2004-10-10T10:35:00.000-04:00

All Work and No Blogging

Makes Larry something something

The project from hell continues. I've had maybe six days off in the last six or eight weeks, and mostly those have been when I've had a chance to travel somewhere for a weekend. The highlight of this week was working 33 out of 37 hours between Wednesday 6AM and Thursday 7PM.

The new drop-dead all-or-nothing installation date for this system in next Thursday. And then I will get a chance to see what my apartment looks like, maybe watch some TV or a DVD or two. Heck, I might even get a chance to have a social life.

I think I'll even try to get up to DC to check out Blog Jam. Some of my favorite bloggers will be there. Maybe they can teach me how to post more often.

current music

Cygnus X - Orange Theme

2004-09-19T17:32:00.000-04:00

"It was a big storm, that caused a lot of damage."

A third-grader's report on Hurricane Ivan?

No, according to the NPR newscast I just heard, those are the words of our President.

2004-09-18T23:11:00.000-04:00

There's a signpost up ahead

The other day on an internet forum that I participate in, somebody mentioned a Wonder Bread store. Just your basic bakery outlet, although it appears that many of them might be closing. I'm partial to the Pepperidge Farm outlet stores myself. Big discounts on Brussels cookies -- what's not to love? Anyway, that mention made me think of the place I always thought of as the "wonder Bread House." Years ago, I remember seeing a house in Springfield, or perhaps Longmeadow, MA that was painted white, with giant polka dots in primary colors, basically looking like a giant Wonder Bread wrapper.

There are several architectural landmarks like that in my memory. Another one that's been in my mind lately for some reason, is the old boarded up gas station in, I think, East Windsor, CT. I can completely picture the place in my mind, and if I was in central Connecticut right now, I know I could drive to the spot. I'm sure it must be gone now.

What's so great about an old boarded up gas station? Well this place was boarded up, painted completely white, and across the front of the place, somebody had spray-painted "Hugh Beaumont Lives."

I drove by that place a lot when I was much younger. It was always there, and always gave me pause. I can understand the appeal of the great white canvas that was presented -- it cried out for art. (Grafitti, art or vandalism? Talk amongst yourselves.) But why that statement? I mean, sure, great band name and all, but this was, IIRC, back in the late 1970's, when the concept of "great band name" didn't really exist. Why Hugh Beaumont? Why not Barbara Billingsley? Maybe because she was still alive? Although if I have my timeline correct, so was Hugh -- until 1982, according to the IMDB. Interestingly enough, and once again according to the IMDB, the last movie Hugh was in was The Human Duplicators, which was used for an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Maybe it was just the right juxtaposition of time and pop-culture. I am sure I'll never know who painted those words, or why. But it's good to remember them, and the way they made me stop and think.

2004-08-28T23:23:00.000-04:00

Comments? Discussion. Diatribe.

These are words with a "D" this time

I hear from various sources occasionally that readers find themselves unable to leave comments. I can't complain a lot, considering that I have paid exactly nothing to have the links from enetation powering the comments on my blog.

On the other hand, I suppose I could look at implementing Blogger's own system or some other solution. Use my gmail addy to the right to help me decide?

current music

King Crimson - Elephant Talk

2004-08-18T12:31:00.000-04:00

Quick Update

Crazy Train

My work schedule es muy loco these days. My own sanity is teetering on the brink because even though we were supposed to deliver code three days ago, the business side of the house has not yet signed off on the requirements, and in fact they continue to request changes. This is clearly going to be a case of giving the users exactly what they ask for, which is not at all what they want. However, I've basically been told to shut up, so I'll just build them what they've asked for.

As these day and nights all begin to blur into each other, I realize that I did exactly the right thing by going ahead and taking my trip to Hawaii at the beginning of the month. Being here wouldn't have had any impact on the project, and I had the chance to ~~fall in l~~, ummm spend time with a great friend.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

I stayed at giant pink hotel, right on Waikiki Beach, The Royal Hawaiian. I climbed up to the rim of Diamond Head, which turned me into a giant sweaty mess.

I Want To Ride My Bicycle

Not that I have any time to actually use it, but I decided to buy myself a nice new bicycle. The evil useless moving company sent me a $300 check that is supposed to compensate me for the delayed delivery of my goods, so I promptly spent it (and more) on a 2005 Specialized RockHopper Sport. (I'd link to the bike itself, but they have an annoying cookie check that prevents deep links. Way to leverage the web, guys).

For the record, the evil useless moving company is still dicking me around on the repair/replacement of the stuff they lost and/or damaged.