"Eddies," said Ford, "in the space-time continuum."

Yesterday morning I was dismayed to discover that ten days of regular gym visits and trying to eat right had resulted in a loss of ZERO pounds. I should have been blissfully ignorant of the fact, because I'm trying to only check the scale once a week. (Daily weighing just makes day-to-day fluctuations painfully obvious. That way lies madness). However, I had seen an ad on Tuesday morning mentioning the Great American Weigh-In, so when I got up yesterday, I went ahead and stepped on the scale. That was the dismaying part.

This morning, I did my regular ten miles or so on the bicycle ride to nowhere, and then I did another two miles on a fancy elliptical trainer doowacky. Then, ignoring the voices inside my head, I weighed myself on one of the scales at the gym. It's one of those doctor's office type, with the weights on the beams and all that. And according to that scale, even with my gym clothes and sneakers on, I weigh five pounds less than I did naked at home yesterday morning.

Woo Hoo!

My plan now is to find other scales that I can use that are equally as confused. At this rate, I'll be looking pretty phat by the time vacation rolls around.





"Ah," nodded Arthur, "is he? Is he?"

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current music: various Pet Shop Boys mp3s that some "friends" have "shared" with "me"