Saturday, January 29, 2005

B-B-B-Blog Talkin'

Back Tracking

OK, I was wrong about the rental car. Not only can it play a CD, it has a CD changer. It's hidden in the console though. Not where I was looking at 12:30 AM. It also has an automatic rearview mirror that magically shifts if/when there are headlights fixin' to blind you from behind, and adjustable brake and accelerator pedals. Sorry, Hertz.

Bag Tracking

So I can redirect my wrath to USAirways. I figured that my suitcase would be on the first flight out of Charlotte this morning and be here by noon, maybe two o'clock at the latest. But every time I call to check, their overly cheerful automated system tells me that they haven't located my bag yet.

Back Talking

I'm afraid I lost my patience with "Alex," the pre-recorded voice and personality of the US Airways baggage claim system. I'm pretty sure they got him from the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. When you first dial in to their system, there is a female voice that asks a couple pre-screening questions, and it's all touchtone input. Then all of a sudden, you hear "Hi! I'm Alex, your baggage specialist!" (Yes, you can actually hear the exclamation points in his voice). He wants to know when I first filed the report. According to the slip of paper I was given it was 12:03AM, so it's hard to know whether to say "today" or "yesterday." Then he wants to know where I filed the report. I've told him both "Newport News" and "PHF" but he doesn't seem to understand. "That's OK, I can search for your information another way!" He wants to know the number on my baggage claim ticket. I read off the number and he repeats it back to me to make sure he's got it. I confirm that he did indeed hear me correctly, and he seems delighted to tell me he's found my records. But I think he's just a bit too happy to tell me that they haven't located my bag, but that I can go ahead and call back later! Gee thanks, Alex, I never would have thought of that.

I ask for an operator. He pretends to not understand me. I can see that our relationship is not as solid as I thought it was. I keep saying "operator" or "human" or "real person." I think that last one must have hurt his feelings. But I'm onto his little game. I wanted us to be friends, but if he's going to just ignore what I have to say, then maybe he's not the kind of guy I need right now. He started to tell me that I'd have to call another time.

"Fuck off, Alex," I said, and then I hung up on him before he had a chance to do it first.

I really hate co-dependent relationships, but I realize that Alex is the only one who can help me locate my suitcase. I gave it a couple hours so that we could both calm down a bit. When I called back later, he didn't seem to remember me. OK, so that's the way he wants to play it. Fine. After answering his questions again, he gives me the same information (or lack thereof), and I say "You suck, Alex."

I haven't called back, but he hasn't called me either. I guess I'm going to have to be the one to swallow my pride again and make the next move.

But I'm not going to apologize.

current music
Guster - Amsterdam


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