Thursday, March 11, 2004

You is talky meat. Don't make me come down there.



I went to see Mystic River with some "friends" the other night. Now if you've seen this flick, or have heard about it, you know that it's a tense mystery drama. The only people I want to hear talking during a movie like that are the ones on the screen. But no, the people I was with were full of comments throughout. "Oh, Lord!" "No, don't!" I don't even want to know what all the commotion was about when one of them got paged.
Pssh! More talky meat.

Last night I went to my second yoga class. The room is already dark when we go in, to set the mood. If you walk into a darkened room, don't you automatically find your self speaking more quietly? Yet in walk this (married?) couple who are just yakking away at full volume. I'm trying to get my yoga vibe going, so I try to let it go. Then the instructor puts turns on the music, and it does seem to bring a halt to most of the conversation. It's nice and quiet. I'm sitting there cross-legged, straight-backed, trying to breathe deeply, when suddenly "I WEIGHED 139 ON THAT SCALE TONIGHT. IT WAS 140.2 THE OTHER DAY. THAT'S 1.2 POUNDS."
What it matters, eh? Eh, talky meat?

We manage to get through the class with a lot less noise after that, and I end up feeling all relaxed and mellow and shit, and I say to myself "Self," I say, "how about a nice sauna?" Now understand that my gym has a co-ed sauna out by the pool. I walk in just behind another couple (it must have been date night at the gym) and climb up on the bench. Now these two are talking as well, but it's the sauna, not a class, so I'm down with that. Me, I'm trying to maintain the yoga-y goodness inside, sitting up straight, eyes closed, breathing deep. Then I hear the unmistakable sound of a kiss. OK, um, eewww. Somebody else came into the room and sat in the opposite corner from the couple, and suddenly there was a full-bore conversation about kissing animals and pets who drink your beer. "HE CIPHERS IT OUT WITH HIS TONGUE, HA HA HA HA HA." Yeah, she said "ciphers."
Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut!

And people wonder why I live alone.

Current Music
Pet Shop Boys - Art (again. still. whatever.)

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